It seems like most chick-flicks and rom-coms include some kind of magical scene where main character "A" and love interest "B" lock eyes. Suddenly, instant (and somehow completely mutual) love ensues. Plus, it’s not just in the movies. You know how you hear people who, when speaking about their significant other, say that it was “love at first sight?” As soon as they saw one another, they knew that it was “meant to be” Now, I have had and will always have a problem with this. I used to think that these stories were cute and somehow physically possible. However, after falling in love, I began to reflect on this commonly used phrase. Now that I understand what love is and what it takes, I strongly believe that this idea is damaging to how real-life love and relationships really work, develop, and mature.
The phrase “love at first sight” gives people, females especially, this false perception that when they meet someone, they need to know at the very moment when they look into their eyes whether or not they love or will love them. This keeps many girls waiting to feel that spark, the fireworks. A guy can hit the bricks if he doesn't cause major butterflies or give her the right "look." However, what they don't yet understand is that love results from both trials and tribulations. It comes with understanding someone and building a relationship with them. Fantastical expectations of love created by fiction are, in fact, damaging. As someone who has been in a long-term relationship through both high school and college, I believe that I do know what love is and it isn’t just a feeling that you get when looking at someone who you have never made eye contact with before. Love is a real, true connection that certainly does not blossom instantaneously. Rather, it is an emotional bond that grows with time. It is a sense of partnership and a need for togetherness. To love someone, it is necessary to feel as though you know them on a level deeper than the surface. The phrase “love at first sight” seems to undermine the process that love is.
In a generation of "goals," it is damaging to perpetuate the idea that love and truly meaningful relationships occur and grow without mutual effort, respect, and adoration. I believe that the use of the phrase "love at first sight" does just that. To love someone is not to lust after their looks, but to admire and appreciate who they are as an individual. To love someone is to take the time to do so and one lock of the eyes is nowhere near long enough.
"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because you combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together." - Lisa Kleypas
