Why you shouldn't fight for the people you want
Start writing a post
Relationships

Why you shouldn't fight for the people you want

At least, not so hard.

160
not supporting the relationship
Pexels

At one point of another, everyone has been on the receiving end of a break-up they didn't want to happen. It doesn't happen only in romantic relationships. Friendships fade, family bonds become strained, even professional connections fizzle out.

Losing a relationship you wanted to work out is extremely painful to experience, whether it ends in a no-holds barred shouting match or a long string of text messages with no reply. When it happens, you feel crushed, demoralized, confused, and heartbroken.

Above all, you feel powerless. You think, "if only I'd done something differently. If only I could get them to see things my way." We play back all our interactions with our special person in our minds, trying to pin down where we went wrong.

Maybe we should have been more attentive to them. Maybe less. Maybe we talked to them too much, or not enough. Maybe they felt smothered. Maybe we held back and froze them out.

The questions are endless. And some of them are probably valid. There's always work to be done in a relationship. In fact, in the best relationships, the work never stops. You can always grow and change with your friend, partner, mentor. You can always learn how to better support and connect with another person.

But there's one key factor to the success of every relationship: the other person has to want to be in it with you.

If someone walks away from you, and clearly decides to end their relationship with you, that's the truest sign that your relationship can't work out. No matter what you do- what behaviors you change, what compromises you're willing to make. Without that desire to build a bond with you, a healthy relationship with another person is hopeless.

Yes, sometimes people change their minds and want to come back to you after initially pushing you away. In that case, it's up to you to decide whether to take them back, after they've demonstrated a clear effort and ability to change.

But even if this is the outcome you hope for: don't beg them to come back. Let them return to you after sorting through their own issues, and reaching the conclusion that they want you in their lives without any outside influence. You deserve to be chosen, not to try to force others to chose you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

86693
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

52639
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments