I love being alone, and doing things alone has given me a confidence that I never had when I worried about who would want to spend time with me. Of course, this doesn’t mean that spending time with people and having healthy relationships aren’t important, because they are.
My first sense of being content with being alone was my first semester of college. I graduated from a small high school and then went right to classes at a large community college. It was weird to know that a lot of my friends from high school were also there, but I didn’t see them ever. For me, making friends at a community college was tricky, and kind of pointless. I didn’t move away and I didn’t have to start with a blank canvas because I still lived in the same town as all my friends, we saw each other less, but we were all still there. So, I didn’t even try to make friends. There was no need. So, I spent four semesters absentmindedly building my confidence around being alone.
I ate alone, I studied alone, I sat in public alone. All the things that were terrifying to do alone in high school turned out to be some of my new favorite things. It was refreshing, to not always have to worry about if the person I was with was judging me, to just sit, and read a book and not be concerned about ignoring anyone.
This confidence got so strong that when I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to go to a concert in New York City with me, I just went by myself. I spent a little while thinking about it, and trying to find someone to go with me, but in the end, I knew that doing this for myself would be one of the best decisions.
So, I set off on my adventure. I got dressed up, and I looked good, for me. I took the train into Penn Station, and I walked to the venue, and I stood in line to get in, surrounded by groups of friends, and people talking and having a nice time together. I was comfortable. I could focus on myself, I wasn’t worrying if who I was with was safe, or happy. When I got inside, I found my seat, and coincidentally sat next to another girl my age who was also there alone. This concert, still, is the best experience of my life. I could put all my thoughts into the artist, and all my concentration into the songs he was singing. This one solo trip sparked others, and more memories that are special, just to me.
I guess the moral of this article is, don’t be afraid of being alone. I’m a firm believer that you need to be comfortable being alone before you can truly appreciate the presence of others.
Experience life through your own eyes, learn, and form your own opinions. Build your confidence, and put yourself out there occasionally, without your friends or family as a security blanket.