I hear about the never-ending battle between how we should choose between 2 different domesticated animals even though we can have both and it not be a problem and is, therefore, a PETty comPETition (petty and comPETition are puns with the word pet in it): dogs and cats. Which one is better? Should we choose one over another? Yes, we should choose dogs over cats. Dogs are better, and all I can do is offer this listicle as a list of reasons why dogs are better than cats. I do not currently have any pets, and I have not had one since January of 2017. However, I still have a testimony:

1. We have dog shows not cat shows

Everyone knows that cats cannot be trained to do anything. Therefore, they are useless animals. This may sound harsh at first, but the definition of being useful is having a use. Cats don't do anything except lounge around and break glass dishes when the glass is in their path on a table and the cat thinks that the glass needs to be moved instead of moving around it. Dogs, however, can fetch and be walked in civilized society.

2. Dogs Guard Homes

Dogs will bark at anything that moves or nothing at all. They will chase the vermin away from your beloved home and garden. Do cats guard your home? No. If a burglar tries to break into your house, the cat may hide or sleep it off. The cat may act territorial of the space, but only towards other cats. How useless.

3. Dogs are more valued

A special purebred dog can cost more than $1000 dollars, which is a lot more than the number of stray cats that people tend to accumulate out of kindness. Cats are not divided between purebred and given special sheets of paper that describe their pedigree. In contrast, new names are given to dogs as they breed together because people actually care about the different types of dogs there are in the world. Nobody cares about the pedigree of cats. Nobody should.

4. Dogs do not make you earn their love

As a child, I found it upsetting that cats would not immediately love me or make me work for their affection. No one should ever feel like love is conditional, and that is exactly what cats do. Dogs, however, love humans. Loving humans does not make dogs stupid. In fact, dogs are intelligent enough to learn tricks and ascertain certain aspects of their owner. Dogs care about their owners. Cats become passive aggressive when they are not given enough attention and will break delicate glass dishes if they are in their way on the table.

There are outliers for these reasons: sometimes a dog can emulate his inner Cujo and harm people. Sometimes, cats know how to cuddle and be comforting. However, dogs are better than cats the majority of the time. Since we mostly value answers based on a majority for most decisions, the majority is what matters.