It's not secret that I adore my dog to the moon and back, even devoting an entire article highlighting lessons Laverne teaches me on a regular basis. My siblings' children all are aware that I'd save her before them. After all, they can have more children, but there's only one Laverne.

She's a god amongst insects in this world.

Forever weighing the value of anyone and everyone against my dog, I definitely do the same to celebrities and political figures. Trump is one such example.

Formally announcing his bid for the American presidency in 2015, Trump painted one big target on his back. It started off as slow, merely saying things, "my dog is a better human than Donald" or "my dog would make a better president than Trump." Eventually, I started citing specific reasons, and here are a few of them interspersed with additional and real-world reasons why my dog is better than Trump.

1. Doesn't grab people by their genitalia

2. Acts altruistically

3. Cannot be bought (maybe temporarily with treats)

4. Isn't greedy (except when it comes to treats)

5. Cuddling with her is appealing

6. Listens

7. Hasn't insulted anyone with a disability

8. Is color blind, literally and figuratively

9. Isn't friends with (alleged) white supremacists

10. Zero Meltdowns on Twitter

11. Doesn't care about skin (fur) color

12. Doesn't require a comb-over

13. Isn't golfing when there's work to be done

14. Doesn't travel to Mar-a-Lago every weekend (or at all)

15. Less a financial strain on our economy than Trump

16. Requires no Secret Service protection

17. Wouldn't admit to wanting to date her children if they weren't hers

18. Trustworthy with minors

19. Incapable of lying

20. Knows when she's done something wrong

21. Concerned about others' health and welfare

22. Would never dream of building a wall to keep people away

23. Doesn't even like walls (she can't see over 'em)

24. No conflicts of interests

25. No Russian affiliations