I was raised somewhere in between church every Sunday and never stepping foot in a church. I got confirmed in a church after attending with an elementary school friend over a few years, and that was pretty much the peak of my religious career. I go sometimes on Christmas for family and friends, and can pretty much always be convinced to tag along to a service if asked.
When I take surveys, I always check non-religious without thinking, but I spent 12 years of my life going to a summer camp where we had grace, chapel, and a bedtime prayer (something I never questioned).
I’m pretty much a walking example of agnosticism -- I don’t necessarily believe, but I don’t disagree with those who do. It’s not so much a lack of trying on my part, as I’ve never said no to someone who wanted me to hear them out on the issue. It simply boils down to the fact that nothing anyone said about religion ever quite stuck enough for me to feel convinced. Which leaves me with a pretty big question:
Does God have a plan for me?
I don’t go to church often enough to feel as though I have earned anything from a higher power, but I don’t think I’m an entirely bad person either. I try not to lie too often, I do what I can to help others, and I’m generally pretty nice. I believe in destiny, fate, soulmates, and all of the other theories that claim everything is happening for a reason. I also happen to know many a person that attributes theories such as this to a religious figure.
Sufficed to say, I’m baffled. I’m not alone here. According to a 2013 Oxford Hanguide to Atheism, almost 17 percent of adults world-wide don’t identify with a religion (this includes those who identify as agnostic, atheist, or simply don’t identify at all).
There are quite a lot of people right now walking around who don’t believe in God, but we’re being told that God has a plan for everyone. So, what am I supposed to believe? Can God have a plan for me, even if I don’t know it? Would he waste his time planning out the life of someone who doesn’t know he exists? It’s a pretty unsettling dilemma when I consider that someone I don’t know if I know, is planning things out for me.
I’m not necessarily looking for a concrete answer, because truthfully, I don’t think that knowing either way would change anything. I’ll continue to live my life either way, and continue to believe what I believe, but questions like this are something to always consider.
