I woke up one morning during Christmas break to my father whispering. In that moment, it seemed strange because my dad didn't really know how to whisper, but he did. Telling his boss that he couldn't make it to work because his ex-wife was in the hospital. "What had happened to mom?" Suddenly, I was too scared to move. All I could do was listen to their conversation "Renetta... my children... aneurysm... hospital..." Aneurysm? What was that? I had heard of that before. I remembered back to a show where a person had died in their sleep from an aneurysm. All in all, I was scared. I turned to my sister and shook her awake. We needed to get up. We needed to go. No longer than I had woken her up, my dad had walked in confirming that what I had wasn't a dream. That, indeed, my mom was sick and getting ready to have brain surgery. Brain surgery?!

My twelve year old brain concluded that brain surgery in and of itself could kill you. Could my mother die on that cold slab before we get there? Not much was said until we got to the hospital. I'm lucky in that my family bands together quickly. I had at least 4 or 5 family members already greeting my sister and I as we rushed up to her floor. My sister and I only got a glimpse before our mom was rolled onto the elevator. Tubes stuck out in every direction. Her hair was shaved and in that moment all I could do was cling to my sister. We spent the next years helping my mother recover, and we were lucky to do that because she was almost passed over by the first doctors she sought for help.

My mom, Renetta S.:

On that night, my mom walked to the hospital two blocks away from our apartment at the time on the coldest day of that year. All the while she felt what she describes as "being shot in the head with no blood". Spending hours at the hospital, she was treated with an extremely strong narcotic to help with the pain. All it seemed to do was pass her out as they ran a CT scan and the basic urine and blood tests.

Even after that, they supposedly found nothing and sent her to walk back out into the cold. My mom knew that there had to be something extremely wrong. "This wasn't an ordinary headache." As my mom started to call family members about the problem, she was called by the neurologist of the local hospital and told that she had a ruptured aneurysm and another one that had not yet ruptured. They wanted her to come back. There was no way she was going to make that trek another time in her condition. Now they sent out an ambulance to collect her. They ran more tests only including a spinal tap which came back with the blood from the rupture. They sent her off to a better hospital where she thankfully received better service. The rest has already been told.

My granny, Johnnie S.:

I was being picked up by my granny at the train station in late May. She had been complaining of arm pain since she picked me up. It was a sharp pain that caused her to jump. She couldn't even lift her arm or move her shoulder without yelping in pain. My granny has a high pain tolerance. I mean she deals with trigeminal neuralgia also know as Suicide Syndrome because the pain caused by these headaches cause people to commit suicide. Here she was, a woman who has been dealing with something called Suicide Syndrome for years, jumping from the pain in her arm. She couldn't even put a shirt on without wincing.

Initial, we were terrified that it was a heart attack, so we took her to the hospital. The doctor in the emergency room told us that there was nothing wrong. She had no heart problems at the moment. Her shoulder was completely normal we were told. The doctor made her feel as if she was crazy for feeling a pain that was undoubtedly there, but they sent us back with painkillers and told her to rest which she did the next day, but she had to work to survive. She went back to work until she couldn't anymore which was a couple of months later. She got it checked out again because it was just too much pain to bear.

This new doctor told her that she had tendinitis and that there was indeed a problem with her rotator cuff in her shoulder. It would require physical therapy and surgery to correct this problem. "You're not crazy," the new doctor told her after her surgery. "It was was a mess in there," they referred to her shoulder. The relief came from finally being validated.

Close friend, Emily G.:

"A few years ago, I was experiencing symptoms that were similar to period cramps or typical symptoms that women would experience on their periods, but I was experiencing them when I wasn't on period. I was also experiencing blood in my stool and I went to the doctor and I explained my symptoms but he was just kind of dismissed it and did a rectal exam. 'Oh, it's just this take a bath daily and it'll heal. And that's all it should be.' But obviously, I know it's something wrong with my body and I don't think this is just the only problem. So I deal with symptoms for several more months before I go to a doctor that actually listened to me and did actual tests."

Question: How did you find that doctor? Did you get a referral from the first doctor?

"My original doctor did not give me a referral. One night, there was so much blood in my stool that I went to the ER. All of the water in the toilet turned red and my mom was like ' we need to get you the ER.' The ER doctor did the same thing that my doctor that I originally went to did. 'Oh, well, it just looks like this or whatever but based on your symptoms like having pain on your lower left quadrant it might be something with your colon. We'll just give you a referral to a doctor. I didn't go to the referred doctor because I wasn't comfortable with a male doctor at that point and I just found my own doctor.

Question: What did they find out?

"They found out that I had Crohn's Disease after doing the tests and then deciding that I should go through an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy."

Close friend, Mama G a.k.a. Sherry G.:

"What lead up to it was that a couple of weeks beforehand I started having these feelings that I needed to do things. Things that were not safe, things like drive my care to the bottom of the lake or stop at the gas station and light my car on fire. I called the doctor and I made the appointment because I knew something was wrong. I got to the appointment and I told her the kinds of weird stuff that was happening. I thought it was just my hormones going crazy because I thought I was in pre-menopause. Once I told her that stuff she walked out of the room and came back in and said that she had the police to come and get me because I would be placed under an EDO, Emergency Detention Order, because she thought that I was a danger to myself and society. She didn't investigate any further.

So the police and the paramedics showed up and they took me to the hospital. And they put me in the crazy room and at first they just let me sit there and then I asked if there was a problem because they didn't want to talk to anyone about me being there. Because Tom (her husband) was in the waiting room and then [a doctor] came in and he says, 'You will do what we tell you to do. You have no rights. No rights at all. You've been placed under an Emergency Detention Order. You will either cooperate and answer some questions or we will lay you back and handcuff you to this cart.' And I looked at him and I said 'I will not answer your questions. You won't touch me and you will go get my husband.' And then he got right in my face and told me 'You will shut.' I mean inches from my face. 'You will shut up and you will do what I'm telling you to do right now.' Very kind, huh?

So I sat there and didn't say anything. One of the nurses went out and got Tom. He came in but in the meanwhile [the doctor] walked out of the room and told the policemen to stay outside my door and guard my door. The transferring me over to [another hospital] for a 3 day EDO and when I got there I found out that the only place they had for me was a floor where it was all men and no doors could be closed. I was the only woman. I didn't feel safe. All of my issues from childhood came back. It was kind of like a snap because I had been molested for many many many many years and I felt trapped. They were not respecting my rights and not running any test. I stayed there for 5 days because they didn't count weekends...

I went to therapy after I got. I went to therapy and because if I didn't go to therapy I was worried that they would take Emily (her daughter) away. She was only 16 at the time. I was afraid that they would pull her from the house and I was worried that CPS would come and take her away. I didn't want my daughter to get taken away from me. I went back and forth and back and forth because I was still having the same issues. I couldn't concentrate right and still having visions. This went for a little over a year and half and finally at work I got really dizzy. I couldn't really speak well. I had a headache and started having seizures and Tom and Allison (other daughter) came and got me and took me to the hospital and finally ran a CAT scan.

"Someone finally thought that there was something wrong with me after 2 years. No one did any scans or any blood work after 2 years. They didn't try to figure out if there was any possible cause for why somebody who was perfectly normal that took care of things was starting to have these problems. Nobody. Not a single doctor that I saw, not a single therapist. Nobody thought to do any kind of testing, but as soon as they did a CAT scan they found a tumor. It was 9 cm, the size of a baseball. That's my story."

"Women overreact."

These are the accounts of various women who have sought help from medical professionals only to be turned away on the grounds that these women can't possibly feel the pain that they describe. We think of the medical industry as a place where biases can't take place and yet it does. In this place more than any other, it can cause permanent damage and take the lives of people. The common stereotype that follows feminine bodies is still persistent today. In this case, it is that "women overreact". "Women are crazy. They don't know anything. They're making things up to get attention. Things can't be that bad. They're hysterical." And while that seems harmless in this day and age, it's been proven again and again that it can kill women in doctors' offices.

The stereotype that women are overreacting is even applied to how long it takes to receive pain medication and what type of pain medication is given. Why should women have to prove their pain and discomfort? How does one prove that pain to begin with? Women are constantly told what to feel in and out of the doctor's office, but to be told how your body feels does not even allow women to be human and feel pain.

While those stereotypes are enough to stop women from getting the healthcare they deserve, another problem is that women do not even get to speak about their illnesses. It has been proven in a study listed below that women are more likely to be interrupted. Think about that or maybe you don't have to. Female bodies are not even given the chance to speak about their experiences which are completely integral to their health. The projection of your gender has that much effect on female bodies that it changes how doctors listen to you. Can you imagine that? Explaining that you felt pain in your arm, but the doctor interrupts you and tells you it's probably nothing.

What is bought up again and again when the topic of feminism and gender equality is in conversation is that women in countries like the United States don't face the same consequences because of gender as women do in other countries. That is undoubtedly true in some aspects. Some women in the United States have many privileges that other women do not and one of them is the access to healthcare. However when that privilege is suddenly your demise, could it really be considered a privilege? This article is not meant to insult healthcare professionals. It's purpose is for healthcare professionals to notice their biases which have real and immediate impacts on people. Notice your patterns. Are you ready to dismiss a female patient because they tell you about what might be common symptoms? If so, check what you did just then. Take a step back and listen to them more before you dismiss them.

I'd like for women to share their experiences of this below if they are open to it. How often does this happen to you? If you are willing to share, how did you feel in that moment?

I'd like to thank the women who are brave in trusting me to share their experiences. These are real life experiences that deserve to be shared and recognized. I love you all. Thank you for inspiring me to write this article: Johnnie S., Renetta S., Emily G. and Sherry G.!!!!

For more information, check out these links:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18439195

http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1990-98104-000

http://jls.sagepub.com/content/early/2014/05/09/0261927X14533197?papetoc