1. "You put me on hold. That's rude."

Um...I'm sorry ma'am, but sometimes the restaurant is just too busy, there's not enough people to take care of every task at once. Trust me, if I could take orders, cash people out, run the tickets back, AND answer the phone all at the same time, I would.

2. "Are you behaving yourself?" *wink*

This goes for the old men who try to flirt with young waitresses and other workers. Like...what? Sir, I'm eighteen years old. How am I supposed to answer your creepy attempts at being friendly?

3. "Um excuse me, I've been waiting for a really long time, and my food's still not here."

Well normally, it's either one of two things that causes a problem like that:

-The food you ordered takes a bit longer to cook than usual orders.

OR

-The restaurant is incredibly busy.

I can't really fix either of those things, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be happy if I handed you an undercooked meal...

4. "Can you split this check eight different ways?"

I mean I CAN, but it really complicates things and will take a lot longer than if you just paid for it all at once and divided it up individually later. Besides, why didn't you just TELL your server initially that there would be a ton of separate orders?

5. "My order was wrong."

Okay. Let me explain this one. I DO NOT MIND if a customer kindly, politely, without pointing fingers or making accusations, lets me know that their order was incorrect and it needs to be fixed. What I DO mind is when a customer acts like it's the end of the world that their order was wrong and treats the employee like they are the scum of the earth for even daring to have mistakenly handed out the wrong thing. WE'RE HUMAN! Besides that, there are many employees working in the restaurant. Chances are, the worker the customer is being rude to probably wasn't even the one who made, let alone handed out, the order.

6. "Wow, I didn't expect it to be that expensive."

Well...uh...*nervously laughs* I'm sorry sir...? I don't control the prices on the menu, nor do I control inflation...or the economy, for that matter.

7. *On the phone* "Hi, I'd like to order *static* (silence) *static.*"

One of the most frustrating things, probably on both ends, is when a customer tries to place an order over the phone with me and I can't hear a single thing they're saying. Most of the time I can tell it's because they're in a car, which usually causes phones to have spotty reception. But then the customer acts annoyed towards me because I can't hear them. Like, really? I can't provide you with quality customer service if I don't even know what it is you want.

8. "Can I order this, leave, and come back in 20 minutes?"

I mean you CAN, but your food will most likely be ready and getting cold by the time you get back. Your choice, though.

9. "Can I get...um...ah..."

*Proceeds to stand there for 10 minutes while a line of customers forms behind.* Seriously guys, if you don't know what you want, 9/10 times there are takeout menus you can grab and look at...outside of the line of other customers waiting to order.

10. "This restaurant is horrible. We won't be returning."

Okay. I'm sorry? There's not really anything I can say to that. If you want I can go get a manager for you to speak to...other than that, have a nice day. See you, never.