We have all heard the line, “S/He is so nice!” Usually, this puts our mind at ease and tells us that this individual is someone we would like to be around. The problem is that nice is overused to the point where it generally means that this is a person with decent manners. Merriam-Webster’s definition of nice is: adj; good, enjoyable, attractive, or giving pleasure. Basically, by telling me that the person is nice, you’re telling me that I will feel good being around him or her. Great! Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime! The problem I have with this is that nice is a surface level word. S/he is probably being polite and nice, but that gives me no grounds to trust him or her. This person makes me feel good in that moment, but under what pretenses?

A nice person is someone that tells you that you look so good in jeans that are four sizes too small and are totally inappropriate for a job interview. Who cares though? S/he doesn't want to diminish your confidence; this person is just being NICE.

Do not be a nice person.

Be a kind person.

According to Merriam-Webster, kindness is being “helpful in nature, gentle, and arising from sympathy.” A kind person is one that understands how to sympathize with the people around them. S/he knows that you are struggling, so s/he goes out of his/her way to help in little ways. Once you are better, he/she tends to disappear.

Basically, do good things because you want to be helpful. Hold the door open for the stranger behind you but not because it's habit. Hold the door because you notice the person behind you is holding a coffee, and you actively do not want to inconvenience him/her this morning because you know how mornings like that go; however, you will probably never see him/her again. Overall, it doesn't really matter that you will never see him/her again because you have already impacted their life, but you still feel good for helping.

Better yet: don't disappear. Be a friendly person.

A friendly person is, “cheerful, comforting, showing goodwill, and serving a beneficial and helpful purpose.” A friendly person is someone that is, well, a friend. The people around a friendly person understand that no matter what happens, s/he will try to contribute to their life for the better. A friendly person can be trusted. S/he does not sympathize. S/he empathizes. This person knows exactly what you're going through and would do anything to help you.

Be a friendly person.

Be that person that everyone can turn to. Be the person who shares notes with the guy who was sick last class. Don't stop at sharing notes. Tell him you'll help him study on Tuesday. Don’t do it to look nice. Don’t do it because you sympathize with him. Do it because you know how it feels to be the sick kid and need an A on the test. Do it because you genuinely want to make a new friend. You want him to feel like you care about his well-being because you do. Do it to demonstrate to yourself and others that you authentically care about the people around you no matter how close the relationship is.

Be a friend to everyone you meet. Be a person that sacrifices a small part of yourself to each human being that needs a little help. Do not be nice. Niceness is handing someone an old pencil to write with when s/he forgets their pen. Kindness is having a pack of pens ready for those who forget you in class. Friendliness is handing them the pen straight out of your hand (even if it's your favorite) and never expecting to see it again because s/he probably need it for his/her next class, too. You never do this because you expect praise. You do this because you absolutely want to make a difference in this person's life and care about them.

I challenge you. Not just all my readers but specifically YOU. Go out of your way to make a new friend. Be authentic about it. Give a little piece of your soul to this person, and do something that shows you genuinely care. You remember that one non-trad in the back row just LOVES Skittles, but he's been struggling in the class. Plop a pack of Skittles on his desk and ask if he needs extra help outside of class because you're always in the library studying anyway. If he says he can handle it alone, that's fine! Not everyone is going to accept love from a stranger. What is important is that you took the time to sit and think about someone you would like to be friends with and did something that showed you cared. Some of the greatest friendships come out of the simplest moments. "How's your day going?" "I brought an extra granola bar today. Do you want it?"

Love each person around you. Give a little portion of yourself to others. You will feel amazing knowing that people can trust you. You will be proud of yourself. You will be happy with yourself because you know that you are not a nice person. You will be surrounded by people who feel loved by you, and there is no greater feeling than that.

You are a friend. You make a difference. You care. You LOVE.