Today as I walked away from a failed math test it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew from that moment that everything was going to change. I spent hours upon hours on this major that I set for myself my junior year of high school. It's been three years now and a part of me still doesn't know what to do.
Earlier today I was just so frustrated with what I was doing and it caused me to be miserable with the major I had picked. Some college students will go through their whole four years doing something that they hate and they don't realize that they're stuck with that for the rest of their life. Even if you had a plan in high school you still change once you get older.
I've also found out that high school is different than college. High school is where you might still act younger so you get treated differently in your classes and extra credit is always around the corner because you have to graduate. Well at college, if you fail something no one cares, not even your professors. When I was a junior I had a teacher that inspired me and made me want to pursue this math major. Later on in college, after the second semester, I realized that this was a bad decision and that I'm really not that great at math, so I changed it to English.
The reason I made this decision is not because it's "easier" but because I love English. I've grown a passion for it over the last two semesters and find myself writing for The Odyssey because it's fun for me. When I was focused on math, however, it was more of staying up late to do hours upon hours of homework which I cried over because I would get so frustrated.
Not only is math extremely difficult in college, but the online programs you take for it are insane. I would work hours on a problem (step by step from the instructions), type it into the little box, and then get the box of shame, as I call it, that tells you that you're wrong. Whenever that box appeared on my screen it was like my heart broke into a million pieces because I knew that I had to work another hour on that same problem.
Even though I've been so frustrated with math lately, I find joy in writing. Even the research paper I'm working on right now is a break from the rest of my work and it doesn't anger me when I attempt it. Other than that English is something I'm actually good at and even today I've been offered a job for a writing fellow position. Anything is possible if you set your mind to it but sometimes your mind is not the problem. If you decide to change your major then do it and pursue something you really want to do because sometimes you never know what you want to be when you grow up.
