It's been a tough year. I feel like I've said that a lot about 2016, but it's okay now -- we're past it and I'm still here, moving on with bright outlooks for 2017. Because what is there to not look forward to?

Oh, wait. Diversity.

That's right, you guys! Here we have yet another post about diversity, because, as uncomfortable as it may make some of you, we are not done with this topic yet. At the very least, I am not done talking about this yet.

It is 2017, and while there are many laws in place that protect a person's race, national origin, gender, sex, sexual orientation, religion and ability, we still have not, however, decided that these people have the right to be protected against the social silencing of these identities.

It's taken me almost 20 years to realize why I was always so uncomfortable with the word "diversity." We think that diversity is a law that says that I, as a black woman, can be in the same classroom as another white student. But never mind the fact that I'm typically one of a (literal) handful of black students in the room.

Then, when you hear someone talk about how "diverse" the school is, you can't help but think about the fact that they were probably just looking for the 4 black, 6 Asian, and 2 Hispanic students in the sea of whiteness that is the classroom. After a while, hearing teachers talk about diversity begins to feel like this:

And it shouldn't be like this. Diversity is not having at least one person in the room who can stand as the representation of an entire community. Where I feel that we often go wrong with diversity is:

1. Making it seem like it's only about race. Much as I love to advocate for my community, it is important that we all realize the term "people of color" does not only refer to black people. Like I said before, there are numerous identities and communities that attribute to diversity.

2. Having that "one representative" and ending the conversation there. When it comes to diversity, there is an implicit "tell me more" that goes with it. For the word "diversity" to lose its negative connotation, we have to start taking it a step further by deepening our conversations. No more of this "Snowflakes are all different than unique, and so are we!" stuff. Come on, America -- we can do better.

For anyone who falls into the mainstream communities, that means you're going to be uncomfortable. And that's okay. Conflict -- even internal conflict -- provides an opportunity for growth.

You're not going to understand everything, be it the first time you've heard something or the hundredth. Be patient with yourselves, and we'll promise to be patient, too.

Understand that, because diversity does not YET mean the same thing as "equitable treatment" there are going to be some hurt feelings that we're going to deal with. Most of the time, these feelings aren't personally directed at you. We just need someone to listen to, validate, and have a conversation with us.

Be willing to compromise or let go of some of the behaviors, actions, and words you may have associated yourself with.

You may even feel a little nervous because it's not like there are "Difficult Conversations for Dummy" books in Barnes and Noble. (Although if there is one out there, hit me up!)

Understand that this is a conversation that you're going to have to have with multiple people. Like I said before, marginalized people cannot be expected to have all the answers and be representatives of an entire community of people.

In the meantime, I'll let you in on a little secret: those of us who are on the margins know that there are some questions you really want to ask us. And while, I do appreciate you wanting to be respectful, sometimes I think people can allow this fear to keep us from asking the questions and getting educated on these topics. That isn't, however, an excuse to just say whatever you want. There is a line; please attempt to mind it.

As a friend of mine once said, "They know you're going to ask it, and you know you need to. So just do it." And don't worry, we know words are hard sometimes. But it's okay. We still love you, and we hope you will still love us.