Being our best self is easy when we’re winning at life. Our goals are in clear view, there’s a plan for our future, and might as well buy a lottery card because everything is going our way. It’s wonderful! But what happens when wonderful turns to wonderfail? Our mentality is tested most when we feel vulnerable and less than best. Worst of all, these feelings have the potential to freeze us from moving forward. It could come on like a sneak attack. Whether it’s on a test, a job interview, a relationship. It’s the big, 4 letter F word no one likes...fail. It’s a nasty thing that keeps us from putting further plans into action. We fear failure so much that we doubt ourselves before even trying, killing more dreams than failing ever could. So let’s redefine failure so that we can look it in the eyes and say, “Bring it on.”
Ditch the F word from here on out and start calling it a “disguised opportunity to rebuild”. Seems wordy I know, but work with me. Opportunity has been hiding behind every failure, defeat, and loss waiting for you to find it. It will come with some feelings that aren’t all that great, but if you follow a few of the steps below you will find yourself back to winning in no time.
10 BLOCKS TO REBUILD
- Feel: Things fell apart and you really feel it, so own it. Recognize any and every emotion passing through you, knowing that it is a-okay to feel that way. Refusing to own your emotions is the worst thing you can do when life doesn’t go as planned.
- Release: You’re mad, you’re sad, disappointed, embarrassed. Now breath. You’ve climbed one step and owned your feelings, now take all that and get it out. For you it might be going to the gym, calling your mom, or screaming into a pillow. Whatever it is, get it out.
- Limit: The next block is to limit how long you let yourself repeat steps one and two. Literally say to yourself, “I effed up...I’m so mad, but by tomorrow I'll have let it go”. Please don’t waste your time at the pity party, it’s lame and you’ll be the only one there.
- Clear your head: By this point you’re totally aware with what’s going on, so let it bring you to clarity. Clarity calms chaos. For many of us, it comes after a good night sleep and we’ll wake up ready to find the opportunity that’s out there somewhere.
- Review: Have you ever lost your phone in your hand? It’s a moment of complete panic and then you look down and there it is, just staring at you. Opportunity is doing the same. Look for what went wrong, find where you can do better, and then laugh a little because it was in the palm of your hand the whole time.
- Shower: This may be done at the same time as numero five because I know personally, I do some of my best thinking from the shower. Regardless of your preference, give yourself time to get back to looking fierce and fabulous.
- Pick something up: Whether it be a book or your favorite Netflix series, a little R&R never hurt. You don’t have to be in a hurry to get back in the game and it may be in your best interest to just do nothing for a moment. Think of this as the top of the hill; you’ll see the other side from here and it looks so good.
- Have a glass: So have yourself a hug in a glass and may it be the only type of wine-ing you do for the rest of your time spent rebuilding. It can be with your best pal or your best cat, just do it and have a little fun.
- Check the mirror: Here you go, you’ve come all this way. You’re about to give this new opportunity a chance. Check the mirror, fix your lipstick, give yourself a little pep talk and get ready to attack. Let the person looking back at you inspire you to get out there.
- Start again: It may be the scariest moment in the process, but trust me it will always be worth it. Be fierce and make the choice to jump. Because it’s not about finding the perfect moment to get started, it’s all about making any moment perfect.
Finally, as the most posh woman said, “Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” -Coco Chanel
Peace, love, and be bright like glitter and bubbly like champagne.
xoxo
