Guys may make fun of the ladies for their big t-shirt addictions and overwhelming legging collections, but the females aren’t the only ones who sport some pretty predictable fashion mistakes. Guys have a “uniform” too, and I think it’s about time we had a real discussion about it.
A Comfort Colors Shirt.
Not just any comfort colors shirt. A sorority date party/formal shirt. Having a different sorority shirt to wear for every day of the week implies that you are quite the social butterfly. How on earth are you going to communicate to your fellow brothers that you’re a total stud who 'pulls girls' if you don’t wear a shirt documenting your success? Wearing a shirt from your own date party is basically social suicide because it tells people that you either had to go alone and don't have enough from sorority functions to wear.
Crew Socks.
Crew Socks are never a bad idea. They’re totally practical and protect your ankles from the harsh sunlight. The only crew sock stipulation is that they have to be a brand. Wearing crew socks from Walmart is essentially like screaming, “My parents are poor and we have to buy generic crew socks to save money in order to pay my dues!” Nike is the most preferable brand, but Adidas and Under Armour will work if it’s laundry day.
Rule of thumb for crew socks: the higher the sock, the closer to Jesus.
Short Shorts.
Guys think ladies are the only ones that wear shorts of a questionable length. Chubbies are an increasingly popular brand among young fraternity men, making fraternity men everywhere wear shorter shorts than sorority women. A true frat star asserts his dominance by showing off as much leg hair as he can at once, and if you’re not constantly flexing your magnificent, milky white thighs, you might as well drop out of school and give up.
Frat Cruisers.
Nothing says “My parents have money but I’m still going to buy the ugliest shoes on the market” quite like those grey New Balances. Sure, you may have thought they had gone out of style in 2007, but fashion has a funny way of coming back around when it’s least appropriate. Rock those middle schooler gym shoes. You deserve some nostalgia in your life.
The Trash-Stache.
I don’t think many people quite understand the appeal of this particular facial hair trend, but it's still gaining ground anyway. Obviously, looking like that creepy neighbor that hung around your school playground a little too much to be considered normal is considered attractive these days.
