Not always have I despised being outside surrounded by the elements, but once I began developing negative emotions relating to nature’s irksome ways such inclinations only continued to be aggravated throughout the years. As a child my mother often took my cousins and I to the beach and as far as I can remember, I quite enjoyed being by the sea, playing with the sand. Now, however, I’d rather be as far as possible from such places. The problem with this preference of mine is that although I do not particularly enjoy “engaging with nature”, my family members, on the other hand, prefer to sit by bonfires roasting marshmallows and therefore I’m often dragged to their little adventures which often end up with me battling against the maleficent forces of nature.
In the list of natural things I greatly dislike are marked with red the troubles caused by the Demon Lord often referred to as “The Wind”. Certainly, I understand that the wind is involved in important processes such as the pollination and transpiration of plants. However, when I’m sitting by the beach- just as I am now- and attempting to jot down ideas in a journal the wind takes on rather negative traits. It dishevels my hair, uninvitingly turns the pages of my book/journal, and if I allow it the chance the it would probably try to blow me into oblivion.
At the beach one may also encounter numerous, unrecognizable slimy beasts dwelling in the water. I do not how people feel comfortable enough to expose themselves to a body of water in which such creatures flourish, but, many courageous souls do swim amidst such beings. Personally, just stepping into the water causes me to shrivel up with disgust as I immediately start thinking about the possibility that some aquatic creature may sneak up on me and drag me into the unknown depths of the ocean.
I can also state that I’m not particularly affectionate of seagulls, and I honestly believe they can sense my dislike for them. In fact, as I sit here- writing this article- a menacing seagull looms over me and it occasionally descends to gift me with threatening glances. My uncle says it is only on the lookout for the meat that is being grilled, but I know better not to believe that. Clearly, the seagull is planning to annihilate me, I mean, how else would one explain the pensive gazes it directs at me? As I stare back at it, I too am in deep thought. I mockingly ask it about Edgar Allan Poe’s Lenore, although it is not a raven. It rudely refutes to respond and flies away. My younger cousin questions my sanity.
Although all the aforementioned factors contribute greatly to my dislike of natural environments I think nothing vexes me more than the presence of the scorching ball of fire, parading through the skies, shooting rays of destruction upon us. And yes, I am speaking of the sun. You see, if I had wished to be burnt to a crisp I’d probably just set myself on my uncle’s grill, where the process would likely be expedited. But, the sun does not allow me to have this choice and instead it selects to unwelcomingly aid me in a transition from human being to a piece of coal. I do use sunscreen and all that good stuff, but when the sun decides to prevent me from reading by directly shining into my eyes its abuses become too excessive to bear.
My descriptions of my experience with nature may make me sound whiny but I genuinely believe nature despises me just as much as I dislike it. There is one thing though that I like about family retreats and that is the grilled food. Chicken, steak, pork chops, name it and my uncle is probably grilling it. Somehow food tastes better when eaten outside, but this may just be due to the fact that I felt frustrated before having any food. Or it may just be due to my uncle’s impressive cooking skills. In any case, the food is good. I mean complain a lot about not being a "fan of nature" but I can still recognize that as long as I have my family beside me and some food to get me by, being outdoors isn’t so bad.
