Getting Through The Disappointment Of Not Graduating College

Getting Through The Disappointment Of Not Graduating College

Adulting stole the joy and wonder I had with college.

I find it ironic that my counselor told me I sounded a lot more positive about the future. That's the furthest from what I feel. This is the week I was supposed to FINALLY achieve my Bachelor's degree. But this past August I was told I had exhausted any kind of financial aid available. So I had to drop out.

I hated high school with a passion. But I knew I wanted to go to college. Not just to learn more about writing and find my place in the literary world, but to prove to people that I was smart enough to do it. I was degraded all through high school. Achieving a higher level of education would finally put an end to the claims of my intelligence. Could a stupid person achieve a college degree? I don't think so.

As the years after high school flew by, I began to wonder if it was worth it to prove my intelligence to anyone.

Adulting stole the joy and wonder I had with college. The four-year deadline for a Bachelor's passed and I became even more lost. There's no guidebook on how to handle life when things don't go the way you planned.

You're just expected to weather the storm and eventually, things will shake out. But with it now being eighteen years after high school for me and I've yet to achieve at least a bachelor's degree, it's hard to imagine that to outsiders I sound hopeful about my future.

What I have been doing since August is applying for grants and scholarships online wherever I can find them. No matter the amount rewarded or where an award is coming from, I'm applying to it. I knew it was a long shot; since the majority of any kind of financial aid is given in the spring for the next years' enrollment, but I wanted to try. Now it's December and no luck has been had with this route either. On Saturday my graduation date will pass, and all my hopes and dreams for a better life will pass as well.

It used to be that a high school diploma would help you succeed in life. Then it became an associates degree would help you succeed. After that, a bachelor's degree was the minimum needed for success. Currently, a Master's Degree is the minimum required to live a comfortable life. Lots of places won't even hire you without either experience or a Master's Degree in the field. I could've achieved a better life ten to fifteen years ago when the entry-level education required was an Associate's Degree.

However, I would've had to have succeeded staying on the four-year track of getting my Bachelor's Degree right out of high school. Without getting that minimum, my hopes of a better life diminished by half.

So here I am, waiting for life to pass me the torch of luck so that I can finally live comfortably. I don't know if my unending patience with the hands that life has dealt me transfers to hope in my counselor's eyes, but I'll take it.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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To The Teacher Who Was So Much More

Thank you for everything

I think it's fair to say that most people remember at least one teacher who had a lasting impact on them. I have been incredibly lucky to have several teachers who I will never forget, but one individual takes the cake. So here's to you: thank you for all you have done.

Thank you for teaching me lessons not just in the textbook.

Although you taught a great lecture, class was never just limited to the contents of the course. Debates and somewhat heated conversations would arise between classmates over politics and course material, and you always encouraged open discussion. You embraced the idea of always having an opinion, and always making it be heard, because why waste your voice? You taught me to fight for things I believed in, and to hold my ground in an argument. You taught me to always think of others before doing and speaking. You showed me the power of kindness. Thank you for all the important lessons that may not have been included in the curriculum.

Thank you for believing in me.

Especially in my senior year, you believed in me when other teachers didn't. You showed me just what I could accomplish with a positive and strong attitude. Your unwavering support kept me going, especially when I melted into a puddle of tears weekly in your office. You listened to my stupid complaints, understood my overwhelming stress-induced breakdowns, and told me it was going to be okay. Thank you for always being there for me.

Thank you for inspiring me.

You are the epitome of a role model. Not only are you intelligent and respected, but you have a heart of gold and emit beautiful light where ever you go. You showed me that service to others should not be looked at as a chore, but something to enjoy and find yourself in. And I have found myself in giving back to people, thanks to your spark. Thank you for showing me, and so many students, just how incredible one person can be.

Thank you for changing my life.

Without you, I truly would not be where I am today. As cliche as it sounds, you had such a remarkable impact on me and my outlook on life. Just about a year has passed since my graduation, and I'm grateful to still keep in touch. I hope you understand the impact you have made on me, and on so many other students. You are amazing, and I thank you for all you have done.

Cover Image Credit: Amy Aroune

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5 things bisexual people are So tired of hearing From Cis-Hets

Too many people can't wrap their head around the concept of bisexuality, and it's getting old.


The Merriam-Webster definition of bisexuality: sexual or romantic attraction to members of both sexes; also: engaging in sexual activity with partners of more than one gender. Yet, this can often be a very confusing concept for certain people to understand. As a result, people who identify openly as bisexual are often subjected to a slew of frustrating questions and statements that have grown tiring. So here is a list of just a handful of them.

1. "So, you're straight now?"

So, as the definition implies, bisexuals typically like both men and women. So, if you are a bisexual woman, and you are dating a man, no, that does not mean that you are straight now. You are still bisexual, you are just in a relationship with a man at the moment. Please, stop asking this.

2. "So, you're gay now?"

Okay, so, this is the flip side of the previous question, yes, but it needs to be said because of the frequency of its utterance. If a bisexual man is in a relationship with a man, he is not "gay now". He is still bisexual, again. He is just in a relationship with a man. Regardless of whether or not a bisexual person is in a same-sex or different-sex relationship, they remain, and will always remain bisexual. So, let's just put this question and the former question to rest.

3. "Do you have sex with everyone and anyone?"

Bisexuality does not equal sexual deviancy. Just because a bisexual person can fall in love with or have a sexual relationship with a person of any gender does not mean that they will have sex with literally any human being who offers. No, they will not have sex with anyone just because they can. That is not how it works.

4. "Will you have a threesome with me and my boyfriend/girlfriend?"

NO. No, no, no. Just because a bisexual person will have sex with someone of either gender does not mean that they want to have sex with you and your significant other at the same time. Please, stop asking your bisexual friends and acquaintances to jump into bed with you and your boyfriend or girlfriend just to spice things up in the bedroom. It's extremely rude and presumptuous. Bisexual people are not your sexual fantasy or your sexual fantasy come true.

5. "Bisexuals are just selfish/looking for attention."

People always say that most bisexuals are just pretending to be bisexual for attention and that they aren't genuinely attracted to more than one gender. This is a fallacy. Stop accusing young bisexuals of playing pretend or going through a phase. Bisexuals are valid. They're sick of hearing these erasure comments. It's also constantly implied that bisexuals are just being selfish/greedy. That is not the case, and this belief system needs to be destroyed and done away with immediately. As stated before, bisexuals are not these inherently sexually crazed lunatics. Being attracted to more than one gender does not automatically equate to sex with everyone. Bisexuals are not greedy nymphomaniacs who just want to have as much sex as they can for themselves.

There are numerous other frustrating comments and questions that bisexuals get bombarded with on the daily. This is just a select few that stand out. So, please, if you are someone who says these things, stop. If you have heard someone say these things, or you hear them say any variation of these things in the future, please, correct them. We all need to make a conscious effort to stop this close-minded conversation to continue.

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