Getting Through The Disappointment Of Not Graduating College

Getting Through The Disappointment Of Not Graduating College

Adulting stole the joy and wonder I had with college.
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I find it ironic that my counselor told me I sounded a lot more positive about the future. That's the furthest from what I feel. This is the week I was supposed to FINALLY achieve my Bachelor's degree. But this past August I was told I had exhausted any kind of financial aid available. So I had to drop out.

I hated high school with a passion. But I knew I wanted to go to college. Not just to learn more about writing and find my place in the literary world, but to prove to people that I was smart enough to do it. I was degraded all through high school. Achieving a higher level of education would finally put an end to the claims of my intelligence. Could a stupid person achieve a college degree? I don't think so.

As the years after high school flew by, I began to wonder if it was worth it to prove my intelligence to anyone.

Adulting stole the joy and wonder I had with college. The four-year deadline for a Bachelor's passed and I became even more lost. There's no guidebook on how to handle life when things don't go the way you planned.

You're just expected to weather the storm and eventually, things will shake out. But with it now being eighteen years after high school for me and I've yet to achieve at least a bachelor's degree, it's hard to imagine that to outsiders I sound hopeful about my future.

What I have been doing since August is applying for grants and scholarships online wherever I can find them. No matter the amount rewarded or where an award is coming from, I'm applying to it. I knew it was a long shot; since the majority of any kind of financial aid is given in the spring for the next years' enrollment, but I wanted to try. Now it's December and no luck has been had with this route either. On Saturday my graduation date will pass, and all my hopes and dreams for a better life will pass as well.

It used to be that a high school diploma would help you succeed in life. Then it became an associates degree would help you succeed. After that, a bachelor's degree was the minimum needed for success. Currently, a Master's Degree is the minimum required to live a comfortable life. Lots of places won't even hire you without either experience or a Master's Degree in the field. I could've achieved a better life ten to fifteen years ago when the entry-level education required was an Associate's Degree.

However, I would've had to have succeeded staying on the four-year track of getting my Bachelor's Degree right out of high school. Without getting that minimum, my hopes of a better life diminished by half.

So here I am, waiting for life to pass me the torch of luck so that I can finally live comfortably. I don't know if my unending patience with the hands that life has dealt me transfers to hope in my counselor's eyes, but I'll take it.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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This College Suite Has Seen It All But She Won't Tell A Soul

This college suite has... given me the worst and best times of my life.
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This college suite has seen long nights of studying and homework that never is ever truly done.

This college suite has witnessed every single fight and felt every single tear. Every single fight and cursing has rung off its depressing white walls. Every slam of door and stop throughout it all has been felt.

This college suite has watched its residents fall apart and come back someone new. She has gotten to know each of us individually and brought out our inner most secrets whether we wanted to spill them or not.

This college suite has heard Africa by Toto being played at the most inconvenient times. Whether it was 3 AM on a Saturday night or 10 AM on a Tuesday morning, the familiar beat has penetrated these rooms, unapologetically.

This college suite has listened to all our bathroom chats. The most secretive conversations have happened with in that bathroom while someone takes a shower and we feel we can let it all out. The suite just knows our secrets never leave so it won’t spill what we regretfully say.

This college suite has watched us play with a Ouija Board in the middle of our hallway when none of us could sleep. She never disturbed us as we made popcorn at midnight and drank cans of Dr. Pepper while looking for some laughter in talking to a ghost.

This college suit has heard our worst decisions and I think she would stop us if she could but she sits back and waits for the unbelievable story that will follow later that night.

This college suite has never complained about the abuse we give to it and even though her walls are cracked and the carpets is stained, she always makes us feel like we are home.

This college suite has become my favorite place to run to, and I never want to let her go. But when it is time to say goodbye and the new group comes strolling in I just hope they know the life she holds and the stories she will never tell.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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10 Quotes To Motivate You Through The Last Weeks Of The Semester

You can do it!
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As the last few weeks of the semester approach, it can be extremely hard to stay motivated. You can do it! Push through the final countdown and summer is ahead! Hopefully, these quotes will help you stay motivated!

1.“ With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

2.“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” -Charles R. Swindoll

3. “Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds." - Gordon B. Hinckley

4. “The only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible.” —Charles Kingsleigh

5. “Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.” —Salvador Dali

6. “Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and again and bring their friend.” — Walt Disney

7. “It’s life. You don’t figure it out. You just climb up on the beast and ride.” ―Rebecca Wells

8. “Learning never exhausts the mind.” —Leonardo Da Vinci

9. “Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.” —Seneca

10. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” —Jack London

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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