The Difference Between Falling In Love and Staying In Love
Start writing a post

The Difference Between Falling In Love and Staying In Love

Warm-fuzzies don't always last a lifetime.

The Difference Between Falling In Love and Staying In Love

I have thought a lot about love. It's the topic of a lot of my writings. My life is painted in the vibrancy of the things, people, and places that I love. Surrounding myself with love has made me question the nature of it. I remember one specific day when I got caught up in wondering what it's definition was. I finally reasoned that "love is deliberately willing the good of another without anticipation of reciprocation." The definition seemed to fit a lot of aspects of my life, especially in regards to personal love. I believed then, as I continue to believe now, that love is one of the strongest emotions that can be felt and expressed. It is the subject of our dreams, played out in the beautiful outlets of society throughout history. We encounter love in our novels, our plays, our songs, our podcasts, our social media, and interpersonal interaction. Love is everywhere.

The beautiful thing about love is that it always is able to find an escape. It manifests itself in our mood, finding its outlets in the things that we enjoy doing. However, the interesting fact of the matter is that many of the strongest parts of love, specifically falling in love, is not the only kind of love out there. Falling in love is exemplified so much in the entertainment industry. In romantic comedies, two unlikely strangers become grotesquely infatuated with one another to the point at which the audience desires such a romance.

A focus on the moments when infatuation is at an all-time high, the act of falling in love, is a beautiful moment that should be remembered. However, what the entertainment industry often forgets is that it is easy to fall in love, but it is no small feat to stay in love. The perspective that the simple act of falling in love is enough to carry one throughout the entirety of their shared life is one that is difficult to reconcile. Staying in love is not an act that is easy. The infatuation stage of love is one that can last a while, sure, but once it's gone, couples can find themselves removed from one another. The isolating fact of the matter is that attraction and affection are not the same thing, especially for those in my age group of twentysomethings.

The glorification of falling in love and the idea that infatuation can be everlasting is a detrimental ideology pushed onto society. I am not attempting to discredit the beauty of falling in love, or even disprove its existence, but I am instead attempting to prove that long-term love cannot and will not feel the same as falling in love. There will certainly be moments in which infatuation will be prominent. However, as life goes on, I anticipate those moments do not occur as frequently as they do in youth. The differentiation between falling in love and staying in love is a perception that need to be understood. The idea of falling in love is certainly more glamorous and appealing than simply staying in love and deliberately willing the good of another without anticipation of reciprocation.

With every new generation of technology, mindsets change. Upgrading one's idea of love can be a lot like getting a new phone-- it helps you see the world in a different way. Coming to terms with the fact that love is not always going to be butterflies, sunshine, and warm fuzzies is the first step to understanding exactly how to stay in love. Staying in love revolves around the idea of a common interest. Consider your friends: friends oftentimes have largely similar interests. When the warm fuzzies have faded and the infatuation stage or "honeymoon stage" is a simple memory, the secret to staying in love is to continually bond and communicate over a common interest. The idea that falling in love is separate from staying in love has the power to bind society into a genuinely more affectionate place.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.


The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments