I won't pretend that I'm an expert at love, but I have been in my fair share of relationships — none worth bragging about. Let's just say, acting childish is OK when you're in high school, but let's leave it there. When you move on to college, the dating scene changes dramatically and acting childish is no longer cute, but immature.
Unfortunately for women, men mature much slower, so we put dating on the back burner until we find a man worth our time. But once you find that guy, it's all worthwhile. Here are 17 differences to look out for to let you know if the guy you're seeing is a boy or a man.
1. Men don’t send unwanted dick picsGiphy
When in doubt, don't hit send.
2. Men respect your boundariesGiphy
A real man respects when a woman says no. You shouldn't have to be afraid of offending him by asking him to stop and you shouldn't have to be afraid of him pushing you further than you are comfortable.
3. Men understand that girls can have other guy friendsGiphy
A man will understand that just because a girl talks to a guy doesn't mean she is into him like that, but boys will get jealous and start some petty fight over nothing. There's no need to get passive aggressive towards every guy that has ever spoken to your girlfriend. Try trusting her for a change.
4. Men appreciate inner and outer beautyGiphy
We all know looks will eventually fade, well, except boys apparently. For some reason, that seems to be their main concern, find the hottest girl and date her. Men, on the other hand, will appreciate the outer beauty but will value the inner beauty that lasts long after the gray sets in.
5. Men are more emotionally intelligentGiphy
Men aren't afraid to be sensitive around their significant other. They are capable of opening up and being vulnerable, allowing for the relationship to reach a new level of intimacy. Boys barely scratch the surface of their real feelings and make communication nearly impossible.
6. Men don’t make Snapchat posts about their YeezysGiphy
Seriously, no one cares.
7. Men advocate for and support womenGiphy
We are finally in a time where gender roles are being broken and where women are being recognized as capable human beings. Men support us in our goals to better ourselves, but boys still think it's funny to make women in the kitchen jokes — we can only hope they're just jokes.
8. Men understand that “friend-zoning” is total BSGiphy
OK, mini rant time. Just because a girl talks to a guy does not mean she is into him romantically and being nice to someone is not the same thing as flirting. Boys get ridiculously offended when a girl "friend-zones" them and they may even refer to them as a tease to boost their own ego, but — newsflash — we don't owe you anything. Our choice to not pursue you is one you have to respect and calling us names only makes you look foolish.
9. Men know how to be independentGiphy
This means taking care of personal hygiene, keeping their house or apartment clean and knowing how to do basic chores and life tasks. Men know how to do their own laundry and don't expect someone else to do it for them. They pull their own weight in daily tasks and don't go crying for help from their parents every time something gets hard.
10. Men don’t treat women as objectsGiphy
Women are human beings and they deserve to be treated as such. Society and the media may portray us as sex objects, but men can spot the difference. Men don't get into relationships purely for physical pleasure, they are emotionally invested, and they are capable of sleeping next to you without initiating something more.
11. Men seek approval from themselvesGiphy
Confidence and cockiness are qualities separated by a fine line. Men are confident in who they are and know that self-love comes first. Boys come off as cocky when really they are just insecure because they are looking for approval from others instead of themselves.
12. Men don’t spend all their free time playing video gamesGiphy
Don't get me wrong here, everyone enjoys a good video game night every now and then, but when video games start to become a priority, say over physical health or hygiene, it begins to become a problem. Men know how to manage their time and play video games in moderation rather than making it a lifestyle.
13. Men think rationally about the big pictureGiphy
Boys make rash decisions to get what they want without giving any thought to the consequences of their actions (this is where the classic fuck boi comes into play). Men think through the decisions they have to make and consider how it may affect their future.
14. Men are culturally awareGiphy
Men realize that the world doesn't revolve around them and that there are big events happening elsewhere in the world. They take the time to educate themselves on world news and they are well-traveled and cultured, so they have an understanding of how the world works and their place in it.
15. Men understand that women validly fear for their safetyGiphy
Ever meet a girl that was super off-putting when you first met her and now that you know her she is this wonderful person with a sparkling personality? That's probably because women have a general distrust at first when meeting new people, but that is just a safety mechanism. If we were to trust everyone we met right away, we'd likely be putting ourselves in danger (not always, but often enough). Men understand that this is just a way of protecting ourselves, but boys take this as a personal attack on their character.
16. Men aren’t afraid to ask for helpGiphy
There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. Recognizing a situation is too big for you to handle alone is a sign of maturity. Men aren't afraid to reach out in times like this for a helping hand, but boys have too much pride and a sense that they have to have it all put together. We're all human, no one has it all together, it's always OK to ask for help.
17. Men can talk about the menstrual cycle without saying “ew”Giphy
Slow clap for the men who have finally made it to this stage.
So ladies, are you dating a man or a boy?
And gents, are you a man or a boy?