I am not always who I appear to be in person. People do not know my inner thoughts and feelings. I always wanted to be heard and understood. This characteristic has been with me since middle school. However, high school and college have made it worse. Throughout high school, I have doubted others and thought the worst of them. I have done this inside of school and social media. When I took English classes, I believed that life is like what the books and analysis say because I have to use some moments in my life for critical thinking assignments. I thought analysis can tell me how the world is like and who my friends and classmates are. I use a lot of books, theories, patterns, and words to help me describe how my life and generation is like. That way, people can easily understand how I feel about my life and other people. I continue to analyze my life and other people in college. As I learn deeper in my classes, I end up looking back at my past my school life, social media, friends, and classmates for a while. As a result, I wind up hurting myself emotionally and mentally.

It is until this semester that I have finally understood myself. A comparative literature student made me see the reality of what I was doing, which was overthinking. She told me the difference between analyzing and overthinking. Analyzing means to critically think when being asked to do so while overthinking means to see the worst of things. I did not understand what analysis means because I used it incorrectly and unnecessarily. As a result, I destroyed my perspective of the world and my generation. I kept digging through the surface of people and situations that are meant to be left alone and I ended up being wrong about those situations and people. From this, I realized that I have been judging analysis from its appearance when I use my real-life moments. I did not see the reality behind it. Now, I will correctly look at reality.