One of my favorite experiences I have had since coming to college is that I became a barista and discovered a love for coffee that I never could have predicted. My favorite thing about getting up in the morning is the smell of all of the coffee brewing in the shop, the scents all working together to brighten my mood. It almost makes going into work at the butt crack of dawn (otherwise known as a comfortable 7:30 am for real adults) worth it. But the things that make it hard for me to enjoy my job are the customers that every barista has learned to live with and rant about to their roommates after they get home, not that I'm speaking from experience or anything....

The first of these menaces include the morning people. *Shudders* Now I know what you are thinking. I am a barista and I should welcome those that are more friendly than I am in the morning. But the fact of the matter is, no matter how hard I try, I will never truly be a morning person. Fellow baristas out in the world would attest to this, I'm sure. Despite our friendly façade that you see on your way into the office, more than likely we wish we were sleeping. So when all the extroverts come into the coffee shopping saying things like "Good Morning Sunshine!" and smiling far too much for anyone that early in the morning, we as a species of baristas get a tad bit irritable.

On the other side of the spectrum are the absolute grumps. Even though we don't want all of the early-birds in our face, we definitely don't want you to be a jerk either. When we greet you with a hello, it is courteous to at least say hello back before grunting your order at us with disdain and scorn.

Next on the list are the people that have a very serious affliction that I like to call "T-Rex Arms". These people come in and order something and when you tell them their total, they hand you their card...or do they? They do not try to meet you halfway, or even attempt to make it evident that they want you to take their money at all other than the strange face they give you when you don't reach all the way across the counter to take it, basically right out of their purse or wallet yourself. As a person who already feels uncomfortable having to handle other peoples' funds, I definitely do not appreciate feeling like I am forcing you to fork it over. Look dude, I just work here.

The coffee snobs that come in to the shop and try to make their coffee sound more complicated than it actually is are yet another example of the customers that fuel your barista's hate fire. We know a lot about coffee, but we aren't in a competition to prove who is more coffee superior. None of us are going to be impressed by your "half whole milk, half non fat, extra hot, split quad shots no foam latte, with whip and 1 sugar packet, a touch of vanilla syrup and a dusting of cinnamon on top." Honestly, that is obscene and no one working in the coffee house is going to find that impressive. Only super annoying.

Finally there are the people who come in during a rush, when every machine in the shop is running and you are struggling to make sense of all the orders around you and the person at the register speaks so quietly that even dogs couldn't hear them. These people make our jobs so difficult, but they also make us feel incredibly stupid when we have to ask them for their order 96 times before we can figure out that all they wanted was a medium drip coffee anyway. I understand that some people are just innately shy, but please try to meet me in the middle when talking across a counter in a busy shop with 20 machines running behind me. Ironically, these people are also usually the ones who yell at me for spelling their name wrong. I'm sorry, but I can't hear, and if we say it right when we call your name then it really doesn't matter if we spell it wrong.

Ultimately, we really do try to make your morning brighter with our smiling faces (even when they are fake) and the gift of that magic bean water that keeps you going through the day. But it would be much easier for us to do that if everyone was calm, cool, and efficient while going through the ordering process. So come on y'all. Be nice to your baristas. We could make your day much harder than it has to be. Heck, we could make your latte with decaf.