I am a devoted Muslim. I try to pray three to four times a day, I read the Qur’an, I don’t eat pork and other non-halal meats, but I don’t wear a hijab. I wore a hijab from ages 9-12 before I decided to never wear one except when I have to pray. This was a decision that a lot of people questioned, especially my family members. To this day, my uncle still asks me why I don’t a hijab.
I’ve noticed throughout the years that there is this harsh judgment and intolerance shown towards Muslim women who do not wear Hijabs. Muslim women choose to wear the hijab or other coverings for a variety of reasons. Some women wear the hijab because they believe that God has instructed women to wear it in order to fulfill his commandment for modesty. And I do admire those women I think that they are very brave for committing to their beliefs like that. However, with me, it was a completely different story.
I don’t think women should have to feel obligated to cover up so that men won’t harass them. It’s basically implying that a hijab will protect you from their gaze, which in some cases it might but in come cases it won’t. Respect isn't something you just feel it's something you receive from others. I don't wear a hijab and I get respect from both men and women. Why, because I'm intelligent and I treat them with respect as well, not because of what I wear. You can get respect both with a hijab and without one.
Also, I’m kind of like that person that likes to walk into a room and be unnoticed, but when you wear a hijab, everyone notices you, makes assumptions about you and judges you. When you put that scarf on, you are basically representing the whole Muslim community and that’s a huge responsibility and I’m not entirely sure if I want that responsibility, especially living in American society where your physical appearance really matters to a lot of people.
Also, living in America post-9/11 where Islamophobia is quite a huge issue here, I was afraid to wear one and I’m not sure if I want to carry that burden—that might seem like a horrible thing to say but it is true. I have female cousins who have been insulted, spit at and even assaulted right here in NYC. I guess I was always afraid and I didn’t want that to happen to me. A hijab came with its own brand of judgment. I felt the pressure to embody a certain form of purity and faith. Once again, I do admire those women who do wear hijabs and are more than willing to deal with societal pressures, but I’m not one of those people.
