Have you ever been lied to?
Of course, you have.
Have you ever told a lie?
Of course, you have.
We claim that lying is behavior that bad people participate in. So then are you a bad person if you lied to your mom about what time you came home last night?
Of course not.
Society has determined the type of lies that would, in turn, make someone “bad.” For instance, if someone lied about cheating on his or her significant other or lied about being a witness to a crime, we would find these people to be of poor character.
Lies we find as less incriminating are those small, white lies that don’t seem to harm anyone. Say if we’re asked if we are enjoying ourselves at a party and we answer yes when in reality we aren’t having that great of a time at all. Or when we’re asked if we like the food that a neighbor has prepared and we say it’s delicious, even though we’ve had to hold our breath with every morsel we swallow.
In these instances, we tell these lies to be polite. It would be frowned upon to express our true feelings of disgust toward the party or the food to the hosts for he or she has spent ample time preparing it. It’s better to tell this little lie than to upset your friend and make the situation awkward for all parties involved.
That being said, it is never fun being lied to. It’s even more disheartening when you know when it’s happening.
Can you tell when you’re being lied to?
Some people have the skill to detect when they’re being lied to, while others aren’t so lucky.
We tend to think that liars will not hold eye contact as they progress through their fibs, but Pamela Myer, an expert fraud examiner, says that this may not always be the case. In her presentation on TED Talk, she gives insight into the warning signs of detecting liars.
Myer provides a checklist of things to look for when spotting a liar:
- A frozen upper body
- A fake smile
- An extreme focus on keeping eye contact
- A lot of unnecessary details
- Feet pointed toward the exit
While these aren’t the only behaviors that may lead you to believe that you’re being lied to, these are the most detectable signs.
Though it’s unfortunate, we need to accept that lying is a part of our culture. Because of this, we need to take most things that we hear with a grain of salt—that is, we should listen with skepticism. This is especially true in instances where the information seems outlandish.
It is important to differentiate between being a skeptic and a cynic. A skeptic will seek out other sources to verify information while a cynic tends to find all information to be incorrect but doesn’t desire to see if it actually is. Cynicism is not something to embrace, but skepticism could save you from being lied to.
