In life, we meet tons of people through school, work, or wherever else we go. Plenty of people know who you are and only few become your friends because they are a part of everyday life. But things change: we graduate or land a new job and don't live next door to each other in dorms anymore. It takes more intention to keep friendships alive, even if you're only a little farther than before.

No matter how much you love the people you've known for years, everyone deserves friends who put in effort, even you.

From graduating college to going to grad school, I have lived on my own spending days, working countless hours, and come home to assignments. It's definitely different from living on campus, because I'd get a different reaction from just popping at my neighbors here. Even with Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+ at my fingertips, I feel isolated after hours watching The Proud Family, Young & Hungry, and Jimmy Neutron.

It took me back to high school, when so-called friends were posting everything on outings that I wasn't invited to. Honestly, that even happened in college a few times. I kept beating myself up, crying to sad music until the pain was numb, thinking I was always the problem.

But the problem is that I cling to what's familiar, based the initial moment, then fall into a trap where I give so much life into the friendship, ready to be there when the person needed me and, almost nine times out of ten, they would just take and take.

I'm 23 and I know what it's like to be on the other side now; I've had a dinner turn into an impromptu sleepover, indulging conversations long after an assignment task is over, I even come off work to a random text saying "Wanna hang out?", "When are you free this week?", or "How have you been?"

I am so tired and drained from doubting the great friend I am to others and settling for less than that in return.

I've learned that intention matters, friends who put in effort are the real friends with benefits because they give the energy right back. They are people to trust, talk to, laugh with, make memories with, hit up anytime, and just do life with. I have found that my people are more than just people who love me for who I am but who go the second mile to make me feel appreciated.