Depressing Classic Rock

6 Depressing Songs From Your '70's-'90's Radio Station

"There's no hiding place for you..."
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For this list, I have focused on music from the 1970's to the 1990's. I don't just judge how mood-killing a song is by looking at the lyrics, but by the sound of the music as well. As someone who grew up listening to the oldies radio stations in my parents' truck, I can definitely recall some songs that at least made me frown and at most forced me to hold back tears.

6. Michael Bolton's "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?" (1989)

This is the song that screams the 80's era (or more appropriately, bawls and cries the 80's era). The lyrics describe the narrator's fear of his relationship ending becoming true with the lyric:

"I don't want to know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming."

The vocals and the keyboard can be obnoxiously over-the-top, which does ruin the depressing nature of the song ad absurdum.

5. Creed's "My Own Prison" (1999)

This post-grunge rock band is known for the religious language in their songs (including this one), however this song can be interpreted through both a religious and a secular perspective. But there is also a lot of legal language as well, with words like "court," "appeal," "sentence," "prison," etc. This signifies being trapped by a force beyond the narrator's control. Religiously, it is about the narrator answering for his sins; secularly it is about the narrator feeling insignificant in a corrupt world with the lyric:

"We're all held captive out from the sun, a sun that shines on only some. We are meek and are only one."

The slow, hard-rock guitar riffs invite the listener as though he is making his way into a seedy bar. It fits the unwelcoming theme of this song.

4. U2's "New Years Day" (1983)

The song mainly deals with separation. Originally Bono wrote this about his wife, but then shifted the focus of the song to the Polish Solidarity Movement when Poland was part of the USSR. Either way, the mournful piano accompanies Bono's lyrics of distress at the rest of the world, which is encapsulated with the lyric:

"So we're told this is the golden age. And gold is the reason for the wars we waged."

The guitar wails in the middle of the song.

3. Genesis "Man on the Corner" (1981)

What definitely makes the song saddening is not just the homeless man, but the people who wonder about him. We spend so much time wondering why that man is in the corner, more so than realizing that we can do without asking so many questions with the lyric:

"But like a monkey on your back you need it, but do you love it enough to leave it?"

2. Barry Manilow's "Mandy" (1974)

The narrator bemoans the loss of a relationship; especially since he is aware that he was responsible for it with the lyrics:

"You came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away."

The entire song, accompanied by the mellow piano, is a plea for this Mandy to return knowing that it is meaningless.

1. Clarence Carter's "Patches" (1970)

The concept of the song is about a boy who has to take care of his family's farm after his father passed away. Lyrically, this song reminds the listener that he/she is mortal and susceptible to life's unexpected troubles with the line:

"At the age of 13, I thought I was carrying the weight of the whole world on my shoulders."

What also makes this song depressing is that even as the narrator's life gets better, he continues to remember his father's last, haunting words, which work as the main stanza of the song. The back-up vocals and the violins heighten the emotional intensity in this song.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Daniel von Appen on Unsplash

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10 Ways To Be The Girl Every Guy Wants

A comprehensive do-it-yourself guide to being the girl every guy wants.
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aussymac
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1. Smile all the time.

Guys want to be with girls who are always happy. Men get severely uncomfortable when all the women around them are not Cheshire cat level elated all the fucking time. Why are you mad? Why do you look so pissed? Are you defective? Autopilot your brain to borderline creepy giddiness before men get the idea that you might actually be capable of a full range of human emotion.

2. Be smart.

Men want women to be smart, but never smarter than them. Don’t know or say anything too much about anything specifically – except sports.

3. Eat like a man, look like a lady.

How many burgers can you fit in your mouth at once? Better, even, how many hotdogs? Have the appetite of a grizzly bear, but eat like a cute tiny rabbit, or Kate Upton faking an orgasm. Oh, and never, ever get above a size 4.

4. Play video games.

No guy can resist a girl who loves to play video games (in her underwear). Fifa, 2K, Smash, Kart – know them all. If you can’t at least beat his worst friend at his favorite game, you’re not a keeper.

5. Love beer.

If you can’t throw ‘em back like one of the guys, you’re not wifey. Yeah, that Norwegian IPA no one's ever fucking heard of? You got it. Bud Light? Sure. Fat Tire? You love that shit. Feel free to let out that beer burp while you’re at it, but the burp you’d imagine a Japanese dwarf squirrel would let out after eating rainbows. Oh, and don’t forget, size 4.

6. Be a freak, but also a nun.

We all know that lyric (thank you, Ludacris, so much). Hit those yoga poses hard because he wants you to bust that shit out like you’ve done it before. But you haven’t … right? Have you?!

7. Keep him on his toes.

No man wants a woman who is predictable and boring. Challenge him. Keep him intrigued. Drop an F bomb every now and then. Learn a foreign language in your spare time so that you might give the illusion of being exotic in bed (Slavic languages sound super sexy). Induce yourself into an epileptic seizure. Whatever it takes to keep it interesting.

8. Have quirks.

Ah, quirks. The things that make people unique. The things that make people, people. You must have at least three of these but no more than five. Think relatable Stepford Wife.

9. Be hot.

This is potentially the most important, and luckily I don’t need to tell you how this works. Look at anything. Anywhere. That ever existed.

10. Never, ever get mad.

The worst thing you can do as a woman is challenge a man’s authority. Don’t talk back. Don’t think. Don’t have expectations. Sit. Roll over. Hold the bark.

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And finally, in the spirit of strong conclusions and remarkably appropriate GIFs:

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr
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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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