I gained a lot of my weight in tenth grade due to health problems and I never really lost all of it. Sure, I would go through phases where I would lose a bunch and then I would end up gaining it back.
I went through a period in my life that I am very open about from when I hated what I saw in the mirror. It's only now as an adult that I truly have come to terms with loving myself, especially because I have a family who loves and supports me no matter what I look like.
The only real time I ever feel like I truly don't belong is in one place...department stores.
As I stand now, I hover around a size 14-16 depending on the brand, sometimes I even go up to an 18. The average size of a woman in the United States right now is about 12-14, so I'm not incredibly bigger than what most women are.
As a plus size woman, walking into a department store feels like I am crashing a party I was never invited to...and the hosts really don't want me there.
For one, the departments are labeled differently in a lot of stores. For "regular" (remember I can't even say average because plus size is now average) sizes, the department is often labeled as "ladies" but walk into the plus size department and suddenly the department is labeled as "women's". Excuse me? Are you saying because I'm like 20 pounds heavier, that I'm no longer a lady? Really? Who decided that heavier women can't be ladies anymore?
Then there's the issue of location. We're never on the same level with the regular sizes. We're often hidden away on a top floor or in some corner. I've found the plus size sections behind the tools, past the children's section, in housewares with the bedding, squeezed into a corner near the men's department, and even right next to the bathrooms and executive offices. But never with the same department that shares the same gender.
Why is this? Are department store managers afraid we might get too confused by racks of clothes that are clearly marked with different sizes so much that we try on stuff so small, we get stuck? Is it really hard to have all the same gender in one department, regardless of size? It' not like you don't have space.
They're doing it because they don't want us together.
Oh, so you finally got to the plus size department. Well, guess what? The department is only six racks large! Even at the most size inclusive department store, the plus size women only have half the sizes of the regular sizes. Let me remind you again, plus size women are the average.
Plus size women are the new average.
So you finally find your six racks and guess what? You might find like three things you like and the rest is ridiculously out of style.
I guess you'll be spending another night online shopping, guessing your sizes and hoping for the best.
It's 2018. Department stores, if you're reading this, something has to change. I have money! I have money I want to spend at your store! Stop treating normal, regular women like social pariahs and shoving them in the back of the store or carrying things even your grandmother would deem as "too much".
We just want to shop like everyone else.
