I've never watched nor read '50 Shades of Grey.' It just seems so uninteresting. So uninteresting, in fact, that I literally looked up 50 actual shades of gray on various paint websites and will now rank them all for you.
1. The hint of green gives this color the top spot
2. It just seems so soothing...and the name!!
3. It really does look like smoke
4. I can just see myself on a long journey across a stormy sea...
5. I feel like Pompeii would really dislike this color but I love it
6. Steinbeck should retitle his novella
7. Those green hints just really get me
8. Like, wow, such subtle hints
9. Oddly relaxing
10. Hints of green and blue!!
11. A strong contender for top 10
12. It in no way implies space and yet all I can think of is space cade
13. I'm starting to regret this but I do not regret choosing this color
14. Is it just me or do this samples look a little funky? Still lovely though
15. And green makes a reappearance
16. Chaucer would love it
17. Spooky...
18. I lava this color a lot
19. I wish my winter quarter had been as calming as this paint color
20. Like honestly is anyone even reading this still?
21. And if they are, are they even reading these comments?
22. They should be
23. Ooh look, a nice hint of like a maroon-ish color
24. Better than the French
25. Cozy enough to wear (but don't do it)
26. Woah, oh, I'm halfway there, woah oh, living on a
27. Wow, that was such a bad joke. I feel like I'm on
28. I bet your feelings towards me right now are rather
29. I promise I'm done with the jokes...for now
30. I wish I could walk straight into this color during finals week
31. I hope you don't think I'm taking this ranking lightly
32. I really am looking closely at all of the different grays I have found
33. All of 50 of which were pre-selected by me from various different websites
34. This is serious business
35. I'm so close to the end now
36. Everything seems to be in an
37. Did y'all hear that Disney next live-action is going to be a remake of Cinderella starring foxes? They're going to call it
38. I crack myself up
39. And the green returns
40. Now time for the bottom ten
41. These weren't the worst colors
42. But they just weren't my favorite
43. A disservice to all tabbies everywhere really 
44. I need to ask all of Florence how they feel about this color
45. I just really love green okay!
46. It's like I'm staring at a floor
47. What a dumb name
48. I really dislike this style sample wow
49. This is not even slightly black, it's gray, and that's why it's bottom two
50. This is an excessive amount of green for a color that was filed under grays and blacks
Well, that's it, folks! The best 50 shades of gray I could find on the internet and all justly ranked. I would like to thank Sherwin-Williams, Valspar Paint, and Olympic for making this possible without any knowledge that they were. Also, PPG, but they need to step up their swatching game.
This took way longer than I care to admit and yet I feel like I enjoyed doing it much more than I would ever enjoy actually watching or reading "50 Shades of Grey."
