Dear Sunday, Why Are You Like This?
Listen, I get that it’s tough to go first (or are you the last day of the week? The calendars have always made that confusing). But, why must you be like this? I just want to have another peaceful day. Why do you have to stride in wearing your Sunday best? Why are you always wearing the Best Elevated Fashion(™) on Sundays? Isn’t that kind of a waste? Sunday Best? More like Sweatpants Sunday, honey.
You start out just fine. Maybe I’ll grab some brunch, or maybe I’ll sleep until 3 in the afternoon. The calm Sunday morning is destroyed by the dark clouds of Sunday evening. You shove the list of things I have neglected to do all weekend in my face. Suddenly, the whole day is devoted to catching up on things no one wants to do.
I’ve been trying to learn some compassion. But, I can’t quite figure out why such a stressful day masks itself as a peaceful one. You force procrastinators to face 12 page papers due in the morning. Why would you do that to them? They just want to procrastinate the paper into oblivion, and you won’t let them. Rude.
Most people I know grumble about Sunday at least a few times a month. Not everyone is a Sunday hater, but most of us prefer Friday or Saturday. Days are not our children, we’re allowed to pick favorites.
All we want to do is be lazy. You might think that it's all we ever want to do. You might be on to something. But that doesn't stop us from feeling unbridled rage towards Everything That You Are. Sunday is the beginning of more work, more exhaustion, and less fun. Didn't you know we all collectively are pessimists? There's not a single optimist among us. Don't even waste your time fact-checking that.
I know, I know, I should probably cite my sources. An informal survey conducted reached a conclusion that you are The Worst. You may try to deflect the blame onto Monday. And you may be right, but then I would have to rewrite this whole article to trash Monday instead. And I’m lazy, so that’s not happening.
Give us those Saturday Part Two vibes, please. That's how to win the weekday game. Rebrand from the end of the weekend to just the beginning. Just change the whole fabric of time, actually. That would be great.
The Writer That Feels Bad Now