As I'm rummaging through my wardrobe for something yellow, memories from the last few years come flooding back. September is suicide prevention awareness month. It brings awareness to one of the biggest killers of people between the ages of 14 and 24. I'm writing this article as an example of what I would say to suicide or suicidal thoughts if they were a person.

Dear Suicidal thoughts,

I know they say everything in life has a purpose. But since I've been in middle school I have been trying to find a reason for you. I can only find bad reasons as to why you happen. Up until my sophomore year of high school you were just something that I heard about on the news or read on Facebook. Something that didn't seem real, that you didn't happen here or that it couldn't happen in my life. That's what my naïve fifteen year old self thought anyway.

Our paths first crossed the end of September of my sophomore year in high school when you claimed the life of one of my classmates that I have known since the first grade. The pain you caused shook my school to its core. You may think that you took her pain away, but what you really did was take it and give it to her family and friends. The pain I saw on her big sister's face was one that I wished that no one else would have to go through. It was your fault! Why did you have to take such a shining star from this world? Seeing what you put her family and friends through made me pray that something like that would never happen or cause another family that pain.

When my junior year came around I was starting to slowly understand what happened the year before. Why what happened, happened and that you were the end result of suicidal thoughts.

It was October of my junior year of high school where you reared your ugly head and went after one of my own. The thoughts you put into my little sister's head made her go into the hospital. My whole mindset was shaken by your actions. I couldn't understand and it felt like a punch to the stomach when I was told over the phone why she was put into he hospital.

Because of you my little sister spent the last three years in and out of the hospital. You almost succeeded in taking her a couple times. You were fast but I always tried to be faster. I promised her that I wouldn't let you win. I REFUSE to stop helping her in her battle against you. My love for my baby sister outweighs the fear I have of losing her to you.

When my sister's battle with you started I wished nothing more but to go back in time and to stop you from ever becoming a thing. Since I couldn't do that I vowed to help her or anyone that needed me to listen so they wouldn't listen to you.

I dream of the day where all you are is a piece of history and nobody succumbs to you and causes another family to feel the pain of your actions. Where we celebrate the survivors instead of mourning our loved ones lost at your hands.

Lastly, I want to say that you are terrible and I still haven't found a reason for you in this world.

Sincerely,

Jasmine

*If you or anyone you know is having thoughts of suicide or harming themselves please GET HELP or call 1-800-273-8255