Dear Search History,
I’m writing to you today to talk about your need to constantly bring up my history. I appreciate your efforts, I really do. It’s nice to know that someone is paying attention to me, keeping tabs on me, and trying their best to tailor their actions based on me. I know you’re curious about me. I know you want to know my interests and thoughts and questions.
But every day, you try to remind me of my past. You try to predict my future. You nag me with suggestions before I even get to finish my sentence. You pester me routinely and never forget a word I tell you. You are the unrelenting reminder, the all-knowing foreseer; you are Search History.
Over the years, I sometimes forget to routinely clear my search history. I think it may be time for me to do so again. Google, you constantly remind me of the most embarrassing, odd, or awkward moments in my life. No, I don’t want to remember the time I looked up, “How to Be a Ninja,” nor do I want to know why. That search belongs to a time of a younger, less sophisticated me. The wiser, worldly me of today would not be googling “Polka Dot Knee High Socks,” “SpongeBob School Supplies,” or “One Direction Likes Girls Who Eat Carrots.” OK, yes I did search “poop emoji shaped pillow” in February, and yes, I did buy one off Amazon, but that doesn’t mean I need to see one of those pop up on my newsfeed every day. No matter what, your Google-highness insists on bringing back the memories of myself from the past.
Facebook, please stop reminding me about the time I was signed on and with just a few clicks, I somehow ended up on my best friend’s cousin’s girlfriend’s Facebook page. It happens to everyone, I swear. And this new “suggested searches thing” confuses me. When have I ever wanted to see “James Williams fav furry Thanksgiving haha”? Now you’re just pulling things out of thin air.
In addition, it is worth noting the fact that you constantly provide me suggestions before I even ask a question. You act like you know more about the path of my future than me. I type the letter “p” and 17,580,000,000 results are proposed. “Pediatrician, psychiatrist, paleontologist, pirate...” How nice of you, Search History, to compile a list of future occupations for me.
Sometimes, I am conflicted about my feelings. What I have done in my life and what I aspire to do in the coming years are what define me as a person. Sure, it is nice to have reminders of the last years and receive some guidance for the future. But I refuse to let you, Search History, to try to show me my life. I’m tired of always being told what to do.
And so, Search History, I implore you: Please stop reminding me of the past or showing me the future. Let me live in the present.
