Dear Poser Star Wars Fans, You Are Dismissed
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Dear Poser Star Wars Fans, You Are Dismissed

Do tell, who is Luke and Leia's biological mother? You don't know, do you?

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Dear Poser Star Wars Fans, You Are Dismissed

Why hello teenage girl wearing that adorable pink Star Wars T-shirt, twirling your hair, gripping onto the guy next to you for dear life and nodding along with the exciting conversation as you very patiently wait to be let into the theater so you may sit down and enjoy "Star Wars: The Force Awakens." Nice to see you. Tell me, what planet is Luke Skywalker from? Oh? You don’t know? How interesting.

With the re-invigoration of the Star Wars saga, Star Wars nerds crawled out of every corner of the earth to go and see The Force Awakens. However, for those who had little knowledge or interest in the series, the release of this film posed an awkward time. Not having overwhelming enthusiasm for the galaxy far far away can make one feel like an outcast. For these people, I beg of you, do not pretend. Granted, you may not feel as excited as others, but consider yourself lucky that you didn’t have to the experience the gut wrenching anxiety when the question WHO IS KYLO REN? Was asked.

So if you were casually standing around with faux bone-shaking excitement… I wish you hadn’t. It is perfectly OK to not be a Star Wars fan, please do not jump onto the bandwagon just because the series is popular. I’m not saying that non-Star Wars fans weren’t allowed to see the movie at the opening night premiere, I’m simply saying that you probably would have been a lot less exhausted if you had stopped trying to keep up with the constant banter about the various characters, all of which have an overly difficult name to pronounce. You may have actually been able to enjoy the movie more for the pure visual amazement of it rather than the complicated story line.

So if you can’t tell me why the opening scene of "The Return of the Jedi" makes one’s heart flutter, then I hope you sat back and enjoyed the ride without having to know the ins and outs of everything, because I’m sure the movie peaked your interest. For those of you who will pretend to know…the majority of Star Wars fans can quote that scene verbatim, so just stop. As the baby sister of two big brothers, I can honestly say that I was just as excited as both of them, as well as my Lego-collecting, Star-Wars-apparel-wearing boyfriend who got tears in his eyes when he watched the Force Awakens trailer—and squealed like a young girl during the opening credits of the film.

The continuation of this series is something that the majority of fans accepted that they would probably never see. But now that it has happened, with the return of original cast members such as Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher (eeeeeeep), it’s a whole new ball game. So if you got dragged along to the premiere, I hope you didn’t annoy your friend or significant other with your questions and confused comments. And for those of you who will get dragged to the movie post-premiere, please don’t complain and ruin it for the die-hard fans just because you’re bored or confused, because frankly, nobody cares.

For those who saw the movie opening night, I sincerely hope all your questions were addressed, that you enjoyed the totally epic fight scenes, that you were completely mesmerized by the visuals, that Han and Leia’s love all these years later made you cry like it did me, and that you found Chewbacca just as delightful as you did before. And for those of you who haven’t seen it yet, may the force be with you, and stronger than ever.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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