Dear Popular Media,
It's a commonly known fact that you're not so great at creating strong female characters, but what makes me even more upset, is that when you do, they are toxic and are internally misogynistic. Maybe that's too vague. How about this? Girls and Women as portrayed in popular media are rarely on each other's sides and almost always seem to A) Look down on each other as inferiors (a sign of internalized misogyny) or B) fight over a man, if not both. I don't care if these characters can beat up a man or do parkour like a superhero, their physical strength has nothing to do with their strength of character.
A woman who has to put other women down to make herself feel good or who can't have a meaningful and mutually respectful relationship with anyone but a man is by no means a strong woman, no matter her physical strength or mental stamina. In fact, the idea of someone so toxic, weak, and narrow-minded ever being a strong, kickass, leader type is very unrealistic as well as insulting to girls and women. I've discovered that the vast majority of influential and uplifting people in my own life have been other girls and women. My mom, my older sister, my best friends, my little sisters, even female acquaintances I barely know have supported and helped me in countless ways. For them and for me, it's not about being superior to one another; it's about respecting and taking care of each other. You know what else I've discovered? The few toxic and narrow-minded girls I've encountered rarely make it to the top. In fact, just like any other person in the real world, women who respect and support other women in all aspects of life are the strongest and lead the most fulfilling lives. I know from first-hand experience that women, just like men, have codes of honor. Our lives don't revolve around men, and if strong women do happen to like the same guy, it doesn't end in a 'cat fight'. I know two girls who've had crushes on the same guy, and when one of them ended up with him, the other supported her and got over it. To this day they're still really good friends. So, Popular Media, saying otherwise is an insult to strong women.
Not only is creating toxic characters insulting to strong women, but it is also dangerous to impressionable children. Children are particularly impressionable due to the plasticity of their brains and the amount of new information they're always having to process. If we bombard little girls with the ideas that they can only have strong and meaningful romantic relationships and teach them that other women are their enemies and competition, they'll start to believe it if they aren't taught otherwise. Do you want little girls to grow up thinking that it's normal to tear down other women and despise them? Should they care more about being better than other women than about supporting other women? Because that's what it seems like your message to women is.
So, dear Popular Media, stop portraying 'strong' female characters as petty, self-serving, and internally misogynistic. It is an insult to real women and girls, and a terrible paradigm of strength for young minds.
Sincerely,
An average girl on behalf of all other girls.
