Dear God,
Thank you for who you are. Thank you for the life I have been given. Thank you for blessings that are vividly shown, as well as for the ones that have to be actively sought. You have shown me that those are the ones that are more rewarding in the end.
Lately, I have struggled with what your plan is and how I am supposed to go about living it out. I have struggled with being confident in you. I have struggled with being confident in myself and my abilities you have given me. I have struggled with being diligent in my walk and with actively building myself to be more like you. I have struggled with sin daily. These struggles have continued to grow and build up, and I have come to the conclusion that these struggles are what it takes to grow stronger.
Through this life, I have faced battles that are not advertised. I have plenty of hardships under my belt, I have things I am not proud of and things that have caused total destruction to my otherwise simple world. This life is not easy. Plot twist: it's not supposed to be. Dependency on you makes such a difference. I have been one to yell and scream at you. I have blamed bad situations on you, and I have questioned your existence because of them. I have wondered why an all knowing, mighty, powerful God who supposedly loves me, would tear me into a million trillion pieces. Through these battles and trials, the answer has been revealed to me. It is because you love me.
A friend of mine told me about how when a gardener is out taking care of his flowers, he does something called pruning. This is the process of cutting back the flower or bush to produce more fruit. God, you are pruning me. You are cutting off the bright, beautiful roses so that bigger and brighter ones will grow in their place. What a blessing it is to be pruned.
I was also told about how silver was purified. It has to be heated to extreme temperatures so that the impurities can come out. They rise to the surface just to be scraped away and the process repeated. This is done until you can look at the silver and see a reflection. Wow.. What a beautiful example of what you do to me. Applying a force to release all of my impurities so you can look down and see your reflection in me.
Lord, most people are so caught up in how bad life sucks. I know I was. But I want to thank you for all the bad. If everything was good and perfect, we wouldn't need you. We wouldn't depend on you. We wouldn't ever have to pray. We wouldn't ever grow stronger. I wouldn't be anything like the person I am today without each and every time I have been broken.
I am thankful for your forgiveness because I am far from perfect. I mess up, I say things I shouldn't, hold grudges against people who aren't the nicest, so many human things that are wrong. I am so grateful that you forgive.
I pray that people can look past the negative. I pray that all things can be seen for your glory. I pray that trust can be less like a worthy attempt, and instead, more like a persistent action. I pray that you are continually revealed to me and everyone else who seeks. I pray that prayers continue to be answered on your time and not mine. I pray that I can be your light and you can see your reflection in me. Thank you for the blessings, hidden and brightly shining, and thank you for loving me and all my impurities.
Love,
Your daughter
