Answers To All The Nosy Relatives' Holiday Questions

To Everyone I Encounter Over This Holiday Season, Answers For All Your Nosy Questions

Here's an answer to all your questions...

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Dear Everyone That I Will Encounter Over This Holiday Season,

Hi. Yes, yes. I know I've grown so much thank you for saying "I haven't seen you since you were a three-year-old!" five times in a row. No, I don't remember you, I was three-years-old, remember? I also can't believe I'm about to graduate from college. Again, thank you for the reminder that my life is flashing before my eyes and that I have one semester left before I enter the ~real world~.

No, I don't know what I'll be doing post-grad. I know, I should be looking for jobs and a place to live. Please don't joke about me possibly living with my parents because that actually might be a reality. Yes, I know my major isn't really something people tend to succeed in but if you let me explain why I'm doing it — OK, let me stop you right there. I'm only trying to support myself after I graduate... I'm not having a family for a very, very long time. You know what? Nevermind that. All you need to know is that I'm pretty sure I'll be OK in my field of study.

I'm actually not seeing anyone right now. I'm kind of preoccupied with trying to graduate if you couldn't already tell. Yes, I know I haven't had a "serious boyfriend" since 2015 and no, I don't know how my ex is doing I'm sure he's fine. Yes, I know my biological clock is ticking and that you would just LOVE to go to a wedding but that won't be happening anytime soon, if ever, so sorry to burst your bubble. Yes, I'm on those dating apps and they're called 'Bumble' and 'Tinder' not 'Bundle' and 'Timber' you were close though. Yes, I still like men but thank you for supporting me regardless of what gender I'm attracted to. I just can't seem to attract them back.

Finals? No, finals did not go "smoothly." When have you ever heard of a college student say that they were confident in their finals? I don't know how I did this semester because my grades haven't been released yet and I'd much rather not think about that...you're raising my anxiety levels.

Yes, I have friends at school. Yes, I have both guy and girl friends. No, I'm not interested in dating any of them — why do you keep hinting at that? You must really want me to find a husband. Unfortunately, I'm at school for my major, not to find Mr. Right. My friends are great. Yes, we hang out a lot and yes, we do go out on the weekends. I highly doubt the social scene at college changed much from when you were in school.

Well, it was really nice seeing you. No, really. Thank you for asking me a ton of questions regarding my future, my career, my financial situation, and my lack of a love life. What else are the holidays for anyways?

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21 Beer-rific Instagram Captions For Your 21st Birthday

Because "twenty fun" is old and overused.
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For the past few years, I have seen the same caption on Instagram over and over again about a girl turning 21. Yes, "Twenty fun," is pretty clever, but I'm tired of seeing it. Since my 21st birthday is this week, I was wondering what I should use as an Instagram caption. So, here are 21 Instagram captions that you'll be dying to use for your 21st.

1. R.I.P. Fake ID.

2. Cheers and beers to my 21 years.

3. Do you find me aBOOZing?

4. Pitcher perfect.

5. Hakuna Ma 'Vodka - It means no memories for the rest of your night.

6. Bad and Boozy

7. I make pour decisions.

8. Beer makes me hoppy.

9. IPA lot when I drink.

10. I can finally have a six-pack.

11. Tequila probably won't fix my problems, but it's worth a shot.

12. Sip happens.

13. Let the evening be Gin.

14. Wine not?

15. Whiskey business.

16. Getting into the birthday spirit.

17. If life gives you lemons, add vodka.

18. Here's to the year I won't remember.

19. It's a lot easier to start the day when you know it can now end with beer.

20. Save water, drink beer.

21. Here's to an unBEERleliveable night.

Cover Image Credit: Alexalosey on Instagram

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31 Thoughts That Haunt Halloween-Lovers All Year Round When It's NOT October

Because Halloween is clearly the superior holiday.

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April is here and that means we are officially six months away from the best month of the whole year: October. It's not just the best because I was born in that month, but because it holds the best holiday of all time: Halloween. For those of us who love Halloween, the months leading up to October drag on. Here are 31 things Halloween lovers are thinking right about now.

1. Six more months until October

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2. Is it too early to start decorating?

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The answer is no. Especially if you never took the decorations down in the first place.

3. Yes, I'm adding my Halloween playlist into my music rotation

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Spooky music = spooky vibes

4. Why does everyone hate Halloween?

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Clearly its the best holiday every

5. Who wants to have a Halloween movie marathon?

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6. 3 a.m. is the witching hour

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7. There should be two Halloweens

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One isn't enough

8. Is it socially acceptable to wear my pumpkin sweater?

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Yes the answer is yes.

9. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

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10. Candy corn is gross but also an actual mood 

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11. So I'm thinking a Halloween-themed BBQ

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12. What if I named my future child Wednesday?

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That makes me Morticia, right?

13. Did you see that orb? I bet this place in haunted

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14. Was the Monstermash an actual graveyard smash?

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Yeah it was.

15. Why are pumpkins not in season yet?

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16. Who would win: Dracula or Frankenstein's monster?

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The real question.

17. I need my halloween socks

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18. He's JACK the pumpkin king

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KING OF THE PUMPKIN PATCH

19. Trying to stay calm when when October is 6-months away

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20. Ghosts are SO real 

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I say while watching paranormal shows for the 100th time

21. Everyday is Halloween

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22. On Wednesday, we wear black

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23. Lets get spooky

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24. Mess with me and I'll put a spell on you

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25. Where's my broomstick?

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26. That's a bunch of Hocus Pocus

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When people say Christmas is better than Halloween.

27. Raise your hand if you ever felt victimized by people who start Christmas before Halloween

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We all know that one person.

28. The Halloween movie series is classic

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29. I wish I lived in Halloweentown

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Halloween 365 days a year.

30.  How many days until Halloween again???

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31. Halloween is cool

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