Dear Everyone That I Will Encounter Over This Holiday Season,
Hi. Yes, yes. I know I've grown so much thank you for saying "I haven't seen you since you were a three-year-old!" five times in a row. No, I don't remember you, I was three-years-old, remember? I also can't believe I'm about to graduate from college. Again, thank you for the reminder that my life is flashing before my eyes and that I have one semester left before I enter the ~real world~.
No, I don't know what I'll be doing post-grad. I know, I should be looking for jobs and a place to live. Please don't joke about me possibly living with my parents because that actually might be a reality. Yes, I know my major isn't really something people tend to succeed in but if you let me explain why I'm doing it — OK, let me stop you right there. I'm only trying to support myself after I graduate... I'm not having a family for a very, very long time. You know what? Nevermind that. All you need to know is that I'm pretty sure I'll be OK in my field of study.
I'm actually not seeing anyone right now. I'm kind of preoccupied with trying to graduate if you couldn't already tell. Yes, I know I haven't had a "serious boyfriend" since 2015 and no, I don't know how my ex is doing I'm sure he's fine. Yes, I know my biological clock is ticking and that you would just LOVE to go to a wedding but that won't be happening anytime soon, if ever, so sorry to burst your bubble. Yes, I'm on those dating apps and they're called 'Bumble' and 'Tinder' not 'Bundle' and 'Timber' you were close though. Yes, I still like men but thank you for supporting me regardless of what gender I'm attracted to. I just can't seem to attract them back.
Finals? No, finals did not go "smoothly." When have you ever heard of a college student say that they were confident in their finals? I don't know how I did this semester because my grades haven't been released yet and I'd much rather not think about that...you're raising my anxiety levels.
Yes, I have friends at school. Yes, I have both guy and girl friends. No, I'm not interested in dating any of them — why do you keep hinting at that? You must really want me to find a husband. Unfortunately, I'm at school for my major, not to find Mr. Right. My friends are great. Yes, we hang out a lot and yes, we do go out on the weekends. I highly doubt the social scene at college changed much from when you were in school.
Well, it was really nice seeing you. No, really. Thank you for asking me a ton of questions regarding my future, my career, my financial situation, and my lack of a love life. What else are the holidays for anyways?
