As I write this, I sit in a local coffee shop, with the intention of spitting out an article to get ahead as I prepare to begin my summer courses next week. As my mind wandered, I couldn't help but zone in on the conversations that surrounded me: a business meeting between men in suits, two older women who appear to be childhood friends catching up, a mother and her two children with one very obviously on the way, and a conversation among what sounds like a group of church officials. My eavesdropping lingers on the last group, and I listen as they ponder why, in a college town, there is a shortage in college student attendance at their church.

Now, I do not know what church of which they are a part, and I can not speak for any church on an individual basis, especially seeing as I have attended the same church with my family for my whole life. What I can speak on is my own feelings, the feelings of those expressed around me, and college students' perception of the universal church, as a whole.

If you look around your church and wonder where your college-aged demographic is, you are not alone. Many college students are straying from the church. According to a poll by Whatsgoodly, 40 percent of college students stopped going to church after they began college. Do not confuse this with all college students losing or abandoning their faith. Some of the people I know most grounded in their faith are people I have been fortunate enough to meet while I have been in college. So, why are many college students leaving the church?

In that same Whatsgoodly poll, one anonymous user states, "I'm still Christian I just haven't found a church here I feel like I belong in," while another even says, "Because I believe the Bible and I'm saved by Jesus." Of course, there are many reasons, and they differ from individual to individual, but in my experience, these reasons can mostly be boiled down to three main issues, all of which are intertwined within each other:

1. College students do not feel welcome in the church.

2. College students do not find the church relevant in their lives or in the current social climate.

3. College students feel that the church presents a front of being cold or filled with hypocrisy and hatred.

Imagine that you are leaving home to live by yourself for the first time to attend school. You'll be far away from family, friends, and the only church you've ever known. During your first few months, you try and visit local churches in your new town, but you are not acknowledged when you attend. You do not receive a handshake, and even after repeat visits, you are not warmly welcomed. So, instead, you invest your faith in a Bible study on campus with friends, where you feel happily received, instead of ignored or even rejected. You have found a place where you feel comfortable and can feed your faith, so you give up on trying to find a church to attend and pursue Christ on your own, with friends.

This is an all too common story that I hear. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having a smaller group with whom you study and pray, but if you're wondering where the college students are, that's it. They do not feel welcome, and few, if any churches, are willing to reach out to the students on campus directly. Plus, it's tough to get engaged in a church filled with strangers when you already feel as if you're perceived as being "lazy," "entitled," and "irresponsible," (to name a few) for merely falling under the label of "millennial" because of factors, such as when you were born or the situations into which you were born, that you cannot help. But that's another discussion, entirely.

You would be surprised, though, to find out how many Christians in college do not want to be coddled, and that includes in our faith. I think that makes some people in the church uncomfortable, though. We are looking for opportunities to grow, learn, and expand. That is what this stage in our lives is about. I think some people in the church get sweaty palms when they are approached by a college student who has questions about God and life and the church that they may not have the answers to, so instead of embracing those important opportunities for development, they close off, and the college student feels pushed out.

We are trying to consolidate issues such as this insane election season, gay rights, sex trafficking, and the incredible poverty gap with all of the new ideas and viewpoints we are being exposed to inside of and outside of the college classroom, along with our faith. It is turbulent and pivotal and exciting, and the church is honestly not keeping up. The church has to be willing to grow and learn with each coming generation, or it will be left in the dust. Again, this is why college students are taking opportunities to grow in their faith with their peers; they understand, and the church doesn't take the time to try to.

I understand that my generation is considered "radical" and "too tolerant." Many of us see this cold, "anti-anything different" persona of the church, and it turns us away. But opening your doors to college students does not mean that you have to compromise your own beliefs. You will not always agree with them, and neither they, with you. But isn't that part of the beauty of living as part of a Christian community? You get to bask in the miracle that is the love, grace, and resurrection of Christ, hold each other accountable, and explore the gray areas together, even if you don't come to a consensus. You just can't be afraid of the exploration, because if you aren't willing to take a hard look at the world around us and apply your faith to it, college students will find somewhere else they feel welcome to do that, and they will be absent from your pews on Sunday.