It is not kind to talk behind someone's back. Other's have feelings too, even when it does not seem that way.
It is not brave to ignore or 'give up' on someone who is hurting. You're right, it is NEVER your responsibility to fix someone. Instead, look at it this way - if you were struggling - wouldn't you want someone to guide you towards help too?
It is not courageous to participate in an act which will make someone have a difficult day. Passive aggression is just a waste of your energy. You truly never know what someone's life has been like or what someone is struggling with - without empathizing and so to speak, walking in their shoes.
It is not healthy to post harsh words where certain people will find them. The more emotionally heavy a response, the less accurate it will be to clearly see what is happening and where the feelings are coming from.
It is not generous to do something 'kind' for someone when the act does not come from the heart. How is that truly being the 'bigger person?'
It is not mature to avoid all communication with someone - when your lives coexist with one another. Lack of communication often makes situations worse. Unless you have psychic abilities, people are not mind readers. Miscommunication will just make all parties even more frustrated and confused.
It is not intelligent to share advice or wisdom with someone or an audience, when the advice shared is not practiced yourself. You don't want the reputation of a hypocrite, right?
Whether realized consciously or not, your actions and the way you present yourself to others also AFFECTS the ways others view your character each and every day. What you put out to others can often come right back to you - maybe not right away, or within your specific friend groups - but the people outside of those cliques and groups who have nonbiased opinions. The people who have witnessed the 'non-filtered' you - whether that was in the workplace, in an educational setting, through mutual friends, or even social media. Sometimes people are watching without you even realizing it. As unfair as it also may be, people are naturally judgemental - whether they are aware of their judgments or not. This also means first impressions are generally a big deal. This can go both ways - if the first impression is bad - people will often think negatively of the person. A first impression can be a completely inaccurate judgment of a person's character, and as a result - a person's judgments or opinions of a person's character can become incredibly misconstrued.This can be unfair for one party or even both parties.
Most people have been hurt by someone at one point in their lives - whether it was intentional or not. Many people have also been bullied - whether the bully realized the intention or result of their actions or not. According to Bullying Statistics, there are several reasons why bullying can happen - but the main reason is because people feel threatened by a lack of power. In other words, whether it comes off that way or not, bullies are insecure.
This is to you - bully of my past, bully of my present, and any bullies of my future. If there was a healthy way to do it, I would want to be your friend. I would want to be there for you. I know what it is like to hurt. I know what it is like to struggle with uncomfortable angry and sad feelings... and fail to use a healthy outlet to express these feelings. I know what it is like to not have control over a situation, and want so badly to HAVE control of the situation... but not matter how badly or hard you try - it is just out of your control. I empathize - it is really hard.
My wish for your future is to stop focusing on others and start focusing on yourself. What makes you happy? Who or what makes you feel insecure? Why do these specific situations make you feel insecure? I would encourage you to be brave and when you feel ready, dig deep down inside your feelings. I would love to be a friend to you and help you figure out these questions... but because of the current circumstances, I know a healthy friendship is close to impossible today. Maybe we can be friends in the future - but today at this very moment, it would not be healthy for either of us.
I hope one day you can reflect back at your relationships or things which made you feel uncomfortable in the past - and acknowledge these difficult circumstances, without all the pain. I hope one day you can look back and realize it was part of your journey and that the situation helped you grow in a positive way.
