Dear Brother,
Start writing a post
Relationships

Dear Brother,

How could you?

85
Dear Brother,
Blog Spot

How, could you?

Do you remember how we grew up? No one likes to talk about it, no one likes to mention it. I've read all the books, I spoke with a therapist. They all say the same things. You know it in your heart too, even if you refuse to say it today. Our parents did a terrible job of raising us. Violence was love in our household.

Do you remember what we did? We stuck together. Through thick and thin. Through troubled times and the rough times. Do you remember what you did? You always took the blame for things you didn't do so that it wasn't one of your sisters that got hurt. Do you remember? Everyone likes to forget but I haven't and I'll be damned if I do. Thats the burden I get to carry. I remember when everyone else forgets.

You have always been my brother. Even if you didn't realize it, I idolized you. You were always less mean to me then our sister. Thats why I sat in your room so much growing up. You may not realize it, but you were more of a father to me then our dad ever was. Thats why when my nightmares kept me up i always asked to watch you play video games. It's why i sat on the roof with you and talked about life while you smoked a cigarette. How many times were you high? Not that i cared, that was your medicine. Each of us had our own medicine to deal with the pain. No one knows mine, i was always forgotten about growing up. The youngest too often gets left out of the loop. No one cared to bother to know what my medicine was, to everyone i've always been the strong one. I had to be. I was the last one with any hope to succeed in life. You see brother, growing up, i genuinely felt, and still do, that every member in our family hates me to their core. They have never shown me any different, and how could i let myself believe these cold hearted folk even do? God that would mess me up. Except you, i always felt your warm love. You never forgot about me, you were always there.

Do you remember my first boyfriend? The violence being the 'love' in our family drove me down a dark, dark path. No one cared. In fact, they made it worse. Everyone made me feel like i was nothing, like i was stupid. It drove me closer to the man who beat me every single day. You saw what was happening and you didn't judge me. You cared for me. You still talked to me, still treated me like i was your sister. Walked with me. When you left for work it broke me because you were my protecter. You were my force field to all the hate given to me by 'family' and be everyone else. After you left i learned to protect myself. I learned that i didn't need knifes, pills, or starving to medicate myself. I could do it on my own.

Thats when she came along. I knew right away who and what she was. You were blinded. Just like i was. I tried doing what you did for me, I supported you. I took care of you when you cried i held your head too many goddamn times to count. I was there for you. Just like you were for me. But you spat in my face. Instead of you coming home I got to watch her ruin you. Ruin my brother.My protecter. She ruined you and every thing good about you, the goddamn light is gone from your eyes brother and you let her. You let her torture you. Manipulate you. You became a traitor. You hurt the entire family with your actions. So I ask again,

How could you?

You do NOT get to walk back into this family and act like this last year didn't happen. You don't get to pretend things are okay between us because they aren't. You don't get off scot free. You have to apologize. Man the hell up brother and apologize. Apologize to your mother for being there for you even after what you did to her. Apologize to your father for all the wrongdoing. Apologize to our sister for the drama. Goddamn it, apologize to me, for running away, for ruining our friendship, for shattering my dreams. You don't get to talk to me like were best friends still, everyone else might be okay with it but i won't be. Not until you apologize. I deserve an apology. You were my protecter, my savior, my salvation, my only friend, my brother. I cried for far too long about you. I can't listen to that stupid song without crying. I still cry. I'm crying right now. I just want an apology. No one understand what happened in that trailer more than me. No one understands you on that level like me. You have got to move on from her, you deserve more you have always deserved more. You deserve someone who will put the light back into your eyes. You know it, you know it. But you still hurt me, you were never suppose to hurt me. You were supposed to protect me, for that, above everything, is what broke me the most. That's why i just want a stupid apology.

Brother, despite what this family taught us, violence is not love.
I found love, true love, and you can too. It's not to late for you my dear brother, i promise its not too late.








Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

48496
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

30817
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

954701
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

178344
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments