Dear Brother, | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Dear Brother,

How could you?

87
Dear Brother,
Blog Spot

How, could you?

Do you remember how we grew up? No one likes to talk about it, no one likes to mention it. I've read all the books, I spoke with a therapist. They all say the same things. You know it in your heart too, even if you refuse to say it today. Our parents did a terrible job of raising us. Violence was love in our household.

Do you remember what we did? We stuck together. Through thick and thin. Through troubled times and the rough times. Do you remember what you did? You always took the blame for things you didn't do so that it wasn't one of your sisters that got hurt. Do you remember? Everyone likes to forget but I haven't and I'll be damned if I do. Thats the burden I get to carry. I remember when everyone else forgets.

You have always been my brother. Even if you didn't realize it, I idolized you. You were always less mean to me then our sister. Thats why I sat in your room so much growing up. You may not realize it, but you were more of a father to me then our dad ever was. Thats why when my nightmares kept me up i always asked to watch you play video games. It's why i sat on the roof with you and talked about life while you smoked a cigarette. How many times were you high? Not that i cared, that was your medicine. Each of us had our own medicine to deal with the pain. No one knows mine, i was always forgotten about growing up. The youngest too often gets left out of the loop. No one cared to bother to know what my medicine was, to everyone i've always been the strong one. I had to be. I was the last one with any hope to succeed in life. You see brother, growing up, i genuinely felt, and still do, that every member in our family hates me to their core. They have never shown me any different, and how could i let myself believe these cold hearted folk even do? God that would mess me up. Except you, i always felt your warm love. You never forgot about me, you were always there.

Do you remember my first boyfriend? The violence being the 'love' in our family drove me down a dark, dark path. No one cared. In fact, they made it worse. Everyone made me feel like i was nothing, like i was stupid. It drove me closer to the man who beat me every single day. You saw what was happening and you didn't judge me. You cared for me. You still talked to me, still treated me like i was your sister. Walked with me. When you left for work it broke me because you were my protecter. You were my force field to all the hate given to me by 'family' and be everyone else. After you left i learned to protect myself. I learned that i didn't need knifes, pills, or starving to medicate myself. I could do it on my own.

Thats when she came along. I knew right away who and what she was. You were blinded. Just like i was. I tried doing what you did for me, I supported you. I took care of you when you cried i held your head too many goddamn times to count. I was there for you. Just like you were for me. But you spat in my face. Instead of you coming home I got to watch her ruin you. Ruin my brother. My protecter. She ruined you and every thing good about you, the goddamn light is gone from your eyes brother and you let her. You let her torture you. Manipulate you. You became a traitor. You hurt the entire family with your actions. So I ask again,

How could you?

You do NOT get to walk back into this family and act like this last year didn't happen. You don't get to pretend things are okay between us because they aren't. You don't get off scot free. You have to apologize. Man the hell up brother and apologize. Apologize to your mother for being there for you even after what you did to her. Apologize to your father for all the wrongdoing. Apologize to our sister for the drama. Goddamn it, apologize to me, for running away, for ruining our friendship, for shattering my dreams. You don't get to talk to me like were best friends still, everyone else might be okay with it but i won't be. Not until you apologize. I deserve an apology. You were my protecter, my savior, my salvation, my only friend, my brother. I cried for far too long about you. I can't listen to that stupid song without crying. I still cry. I'm crying right now. I just want an apology. No one understand what happened in that trailer more than me. No one understands you on that level like me. You have got to move on from her, you deserve more you have always deserved more. You deserve someone who will put the light back into your eyes. You know it, you know it. But you still hurt me, you were never suppose to hurt me. You were supposed to protect me, for that, above everything, is what broke me the most. That's why i just want a stupid apology.

Brother, despite what this family taught us, violence is not love.
I found love, true love, and you can too. It's not to late for you my dear brother, i promise its not too late.








Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

155779
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

43566
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

38794
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments