Dear Bicyclists, Get The F*ck Off The Road

Dear Bicyclists, Get The F*ck Off The Road

I mean, really. Sidewalks exist for a reason, you know!


I’m going to lay out a scene/scenario for you. You’re driving down the road. There’s no traffic, but suddenly you’ve gone from 45 mph to 20 mph and you have no idea why. You look as far as you can in front of you to see what's the hold up or what’s going on, and suddenly you see it. There’s a mother freaking bicyclist riding on the street (not on the sidewalk which is literally a foot away from them) and nobody can get past them. Either the cyclist is being a real asshat and riding directly in the middle of the street, or the cars behind them have to wait for the left lane to be clear so they can swerve over real quick and pass the cyclist without hitting them. Finally you’re the one riding next to/beside the cyclist and you’re almost blinded by how annoyed you are that this person can’t live out their professional biker dream ON THE SIDEWALK.

That scenario has happened to me too many times to count, and I’m guessing that it has happened to at least one person reading this right now. As you may have guessed, bicyclists who choose to ride on the road frustrate me to no end. My father jokingly calls them “street terrorists” and I could not agree more with that statement.

First of all, riding your bike on a street that cars, trucks, motorcycles, bigger vehicles, etc. travel down at speeds ranging from 25-55 miles per hour, especially roads that don’t have bike lanes (A.K.A. most of them) is, like, one of the most reckless things I have ever heard of. You are completely throwing your safety out of the window. Believe it or not, your plastic helmet does not render you invincible on the roads, and neither does your spandex outfit. If you swerve or wipe out whether it be due to a pothole, dead animal, dip in the road, etc. there is a 100% chance of you being hit by whatever vehicle that is next to/behind you at the time. In that situation, no parties end up happy.

Piggybacking off of that, riding your bike on these busy streets is quite frankly kinda of an asshole thing to do. Yes yes, we get it. Legally you can be on the road, it’s your right to be on the road, blah, Blah, BLAH. When you got on the road, every driver in their car is hoping to God that they don’t hit you, that you don't swerve and then they end up hitting you, or that some freak thing happens causing them to HIT YOU. The truth is, if something does happen and you end up getting hit, guess who they’re likely to say was at fault? Was it going to be you, the bicyclist? No. It will be the person driving their car on a road meant for CARS who will now face charges and possible jail time. Well, at least you exercised your right to ride your Speed Jet Supreme 2000x whatever bike on the road!

Piggybacking off of THAT now, riding your bike on the streets is a HUGE inconvenience to everyone, and I mean everyone, on the road except for yourself. You cause traffic, initiate delays on the road, cause at the very least time delays for drivers, and practically force drivers to make unsafe movements into the other lane(s) to go around you. I just don’t get it. If there’s a bike lane, RIDE IN IT. If there’s a sidewalk, RIDE ON IT. If there is only road, FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO RIDE. I don’t know why bicyclists choose to ride on busy roads filled with oncoming traffic. I guess some people have one hell of a professional biking dream they’re trying to fulfill. Maybe they’re pretending to be like Lance Armstrong or something. Perhaps they think that they are just that serious of an athlete. Whatever the reason, I really and truly do not understand.

In conclusion, I just have one thing to say to bicyclists who choose to ride on the streets with actual vehicles: Get the f*ck off the road.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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