As the human race, we can’t seem to agree on much. From small things like what to call that fizzy refreshing drink we love over ice (pop, soda, coke…) to the big things, like who and what we should believe in, we seem to be a world divided. While differing opinions are nothing to be afraid of, they have gotten quite a bad reputation as tensions in nations around the globe rise...and often spiral out of control. Not only are we struggling to find common ground, we’re struggling to find a way to resolve our uncommon ground as well. So the next time you’re faced with someone with whom you just don’t agree, consider these twelve things before dismissing them as wrong, or worse.
1. Examine
You’re scrolling through your newsfeed and see a post on Facebook, it stops you in your tracks...did someone just say that? Indeed, they did. Take this time to determine if there is an discussion to be had, and we do mean a discussion because nothing good ever comes from an argument.
2. Contemplate
What is the best thing to say here? Will the person even listen to my argument? How many people would get upset by what I am about to say? Asking these questions is essential when you are about to get into a deep discussion.
3. Investigate
Before you enter into an argument, always look into what you want to argue about. Sometimes all you read on Facebook or Twitter isn't true (crazy, we know). Make sure to find true facts to back up your argument and make sure that whatever side you’re taking has credible evidence. Recently after trying to discuss with someone on Facebook, they showed the photo below. The sources? www.copinthehood.com and www.killedbythepolice.net. You can't prove a point without solid sources.
4. Educate
Although it can be tough to remain level-headed when someone challenges you, you won’t get anywhere by shouting at them. Calmly state your opinion and share the information you learned (and maybe even where you learned it for good measure). Emphasize that this is your opinion, and you think they might benefit from looking into the issue more.
5. Tolerate
While you’re discussing, you're going to have to listen to their side. Sometimes, you are going to feel disgusted and annoyed by what they have to say, but don't start fighting with them. That is not going to do anything but make blood boil so just sit and listen. Read their point and take it into consideration.
6. Reiterate
Sometimes telling someone once isn't enough. They may have skimmed over it the first time or blatantly ignored it. State your point once more and consider changing your approach. Anything you have to say is worth saying another way.
7. Communicate
Communication is key: don’t argue and don’t shut down.
8. Hydrate
If you’re willing, you'll be having this discussion for a while. Take some time to walk away from it to think and breathe. Maybe turn off all social media and just watch a couple of episodes of your favorite show.
9. Demonstrate
Sometimes, talking isn't gonna cut it, try to show pictures or videos. Show them what you see and use other resources to get your point across.
10. Deviate
Consider talking to them about something else, or even talking to someone else. Finding people who share your views and talking with them can help too... you don’t always have to change someone’s mind to make a difference.
11. Don't hate
The most important part is not to hate someone for their point. This is hard and many of us have fallen victim to this many times before, but hating people isn't going to make them see your side. It isn't going to change any of the terrible things happening in this world and it won’t fix anything.
12. Know when to call it a day
While it’s important to stand your ground, it’s just as important to know when you aren’t changing someone’s mind. There is a fine line between being diligent and being antagonizing. If someone clearly isn’t willing to listen, your time and resources are probably better spent talking with someone who is more open to change.
Turning on the news can feel hopeless some days, and more often than not the battle feels uphill. We can’t change the world everyday, but if you’re lucky, you just might help someone see a point they never knew before….
