Throughout our lives, we constantly make decisions. Each day we decide what we want to eat for breakfast or when we want to get dressed up for work. We constantly decide how we want our lives to go and to be, but sometimes we can't. I am a firm believer of Christ and I know that each decision that I have made or will have to make has always been done. One of my good friends explained to me the other day after I told her about a difficult decision I had to make, that God already knew what decision I was going to make and gave me the freedom to make it myself.
I recently quit my job and it was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. It was even harder than leaving for college, or watching my friend move away. My heart was being pulled every possible way a heart could be pulled, until I eventually knew what I had to do. It didn't just happen, it had always been there in the back of my mind since I started the job. Once I quit my job, I felt such freedom and joy. I had felt like I was a bird stuck in a cage and was not able to completely be myself. I knew in my heart and in my faith that I had made the right decision because I was able to leave.
When you have to make a difficult decision in your life, it can feel like the world is crashing around you and you don't know where you're going anymore. I know just how frustrating it can be to have to decide what you should do, especially when you're trying to figure out what is best for you and your ideas aren't the same as other people's. I have learned that you can only count on one person beside yourself who knows just what you need and what's best for you, God.
My favorite bible verse has been especially helpful in this transition into the unknown. The verse of Proverbs 3:5-6 says " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." This verse reminds me that I might think I know what I'm doing, but that only God truly knows what I'm doing and why I am making difficult decisions. He created my plan and your plan before we were even created and no matter what we do, there is no way that we can alter that plan.
I want to talk about courage for a second. I can't even begin to explain how brave and how courageous I had to be to go and tell my boss that I needed to work at this job anymore. This was something that I had been so scared to tell anyone about and no one knew the whole truth because it was difficult to admit. After I did quit, I felt like I could do anything and that I wasn't scared anymore do say no and to stand up for myself.
I think sometimes in life, we get so caught up in always making the right decisions and making the decisions that would benefit others rather than ourselves. We become so focused in other people that we forget about the most important person, us. If we don't focus on us sometimes, then what good are we being to those who need us and those who we don't know need us yet. As a believer of Christ, I still have no regrets because I understand that everything I do has a purpose and has a greater meaning that I will hopefully learn one day.
As you go through the day and have to make some difficult decisions yourself regarding school or your family or your job, I hope that you know that I will be praying that you hear God and make the decision He wants you to make and needs to make. I hope that when you make that decision, you feel at peace with it and it makes you happier than before. You should always remember that this is your life and no one else's. Remember that you can't give away what you don't have and can't be the person you know you aren't.
