To say I was upset when I first heard of Alan Rickman's passing would be an understatement, but what I find incredibly ironic was that the day prior I had just watched "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" and was thinking about what an incredible actor he was. For those that don't know who I am speaking of, Alan Rickman was the man who portrayed the iconic character of Professor Severus Snape throughout the "Harry Potter" series.
As I watched that infamous scene in the boathouse, I couldn't help as my breath hitched in my throat and an icy fist closed about my heart at Snape's impending death. No matter how many times I see that film my reaction is the same. For anyone who watches the movie with me, they always give me the most absurd look at that moment and they honestly have every right to. Here I am caring for a character that I should absolutely loathe with every fiber of my being. Severus Snape made Harry's life as difficult as possible during his time at Hogwarts. He is the man who killed Dumbledore, he is a servant of Voldemort, and yet here I am mourning his death. That scene coupled with thinking about why I care for him always takes me back to the day J.K. Rowling made me fall in love with Severus Snape.
To be honest, it was a day I really couldn't forget. It was the summer between seventh and eighth grade, when puberty had me wrapped tight in the grips of awkwardness and nerves were running on overdrive as thoughts being in the high school next year ran through my head, but none of held a candle to what I held in my hands on the morning of July 21, 2007: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows."
On pre-order for months, I picked up my copy minutes after the sign flipped to open on the local bookstore's door. After that, no one saw me for the rest of the day. Pages flipped as fast as a hummingbird's wings as I raced through those printed pages. Then I finally reached it, the one thing I had been hoping for the entire series, Snape's death. I was elated, overjoyed, ecstatic! Here was the man who had caused so much pain and suffering finally gone! The creepy, greasy, sinister potions master had finally got what was coming to him. Oh, it was such sweet, poetic justice, but then I kept reading...
In one chapter, Ms. Rowling took the man I loved to hate and made him one of my favorite fictional character of all time. Severus Snape was not evil, nor did he choose sides in the conflict between Voldemort and the rest of the wizarding world. Severus Snape fought for one thing, and one thing only, love. As I drank in those ebony letters I fell in love with the man who had done everything he could to protect the woman he loved. Every action he had done prior to Lilly Potter's death had been an effort to protect her from the man he served, but when that proved to be impossible he poured his efforts into protecting her son because that was all he had left of her. Reading those words describing the devotion and love Snape held for a woman long gone brought forth emotions that I thought I would have for a man who, pages before, I despised. Then with one single proclamation, "Always," I was broken. It is always with a heavy heart that I snap back from that reverie to resume the film and watch Rickman portray the end of Snape. That scene carried so much emotional weight within the book and to witness it is so powerful.
Ms. Rowling, thank you for sharing your incredible realm with the world.
Alan Rickman, thank you for bringing such an incredible character to life. Whenever anyone asks me "You like Snape?" I will point to a photograph of you in those iconic black robes and simply say "Always."
