When you hear the word “dating,” what do you think of? You probably think of two people in a relationship. However, when I think of the word “dating,” I think of exactly that: Two people going on dates—not a relationship. Now, it seems that when we, as a society, are referring to two people going on dates, we say they are “talking.” Why has this changed?
When we say Sally and Mark are “talking,” we may mean a variety of things: Friends with benefits, flirting with each other via text, friends that sometimes make out, two people that are interested in each other, but don’t want a relationship, or two people going on dates but have not decided if they are ready for a serious relationship. This can be really confusing.
A 27-year-old college student, Cory Minor, touches on one of the ways this topic can be confusing: “Well, to me, it (saying two people are talking) means that the two people in question are in the process of getting to know one another on a more personal level in hopes of entering a meaningful relationship. But to be honest, I feel a lot of people say that as a reason to not feel ashamed of sleeping with someone else.” So, is “talking” a way to say you’re interested in someone, but not enough to stop having sex with other people?
I talked to my mom about this, and when she was my age, she said they called two people going on dates “dating.” “Talking” wasn’t a word they used for romantic interests at all. Where did this show up? Why is it more accepted than “dating?” Does having the word “talking” in our vocabulary allow people to think they don’t need something stable? Just to be clear, I’m not saying using that word is wrong. I’m just curious as to how “talking” took the place of “dating.” Different people share different opinion on this topic and I believe it is important to see the different perspectives and talk about them.
Kelsey Palmer, a senior public relations major at Bowling Green State University, also sees a difference among college-age generation and older generations. She said, “I feel like older people use the term dating in a weird way because they will go out to dinner with different people and say they are dating around just because they went on a date with someone.”
Recently, I have noticed that I need to explain myself to anyone if I say I’m “dating” someone so that they don’t automatically think I’m in a relationship with someone. To me, “dating” and being in a relationship are two different things.
Integrated Language Arts junior at Kent State University, Delaney Clements, has a very different perspective on the term “talking.” She said, “I personally hate it when someone says that they are ‘talking’ to someone when they actually mean that they are flirting or starting to date. To me, talking is just something that you do to your friends, family, strangers, basically anyone.”
Clearly, there’s some confusion on what to call people beginning to go on dates. What do you think?
