What A Pop Song, Therapy, & A Dating Hiatus Helped Me Realize
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

What A Pop Song, Therapy, & A Dating Hiatus Helped Me Realize

I'm not even going to pretend Thank U, Next is a guilty pleasure song and not words to live by.

271
What A Pop Song, Therapy, & A Dating Hiatus Helped Me Realize
Sarah Bacio


I've never been the kind of person that sits back and reflects-that is on my own life. I've been consistently focused on making other people's lives more comfortable, specifically in romantic relationships. I'm the kind of pal that overthinks every conversation, adjusts my entire day around you, but is constantly picking people to offer myself up for that don't provide the same respect in return.


With that being said, I have also been the one to blame in different situations. From letting manipulation take control of my better judgement and turning me into a Crazy Ex Girlfriend to not being honest or straightforward about what I want or don't want, I've caused toxicity as well. These are the patterns I've been reflecting on to try and cease.

Since attending weekly therapy sessions 2 days a week for 3 months now (and PSA every one should go to therapy!), I've gotten the chance to reflect on my choices and find out some of the causes of my stress, unhappiness, and general cynicism. I started with what was easiest to confront, which is-annoyingly-my relationships.

I decided to map out the relationships that I've had, and what I found through me into a spiral for a while. I was blown away and (stupidly) ashamed by the obvious patterns I found in my life. Since the age of 14 I've never been without another person. Since 7th grade, I've gone from one long term relationship to the next and-yes, I realize how weird it is for 7th graders to have long term relationships-but that's how I liked it.

Even after my rough split with my longest partner, I found myself trying (and failing) to jump into a new long-term relationship. It didn't click for me until over a year after said rough split that what I needed was not another someone but to reflect, deal with my own grievances, and stop the patterns I was so accustomed to continuing.

In my few months of singularity, I have come to realize a few very important things that I think other people can choose to reflect on as well. In the high that we're in of Ariana Grande's epic song Thank U, Next, I ask all of us to reflect on what's going on in our lives and realize that you (singularly) are in control of your own happiness.

I'll start with the most important realization: I have a voice. I have talents. I'm an individual. I have interests outside of the people I pick to make me feel small. In the months I've spent without another person, I've been able to build back some of the shattered parts of me caused by past toxicity. I've been able to, slowly, and with the help of friends (and my therapist) realize that I don't have to feel insignificant, dumb, that I won't amount to anything, and if I pick someone who likes to tear me down, I can proudly Thank U, Next them.

I've also found that now I know exactly what I want and don't want from a future relationship. For instance, I don't want someone that is going to limit my freedom but someone that encourages me to be the best version of myself. We don't have to settle for the people that offer us a few good moments in exchange for a lifetime of horrible ones.

I've found that I don't have to change anything about myself in order to be in a relationship because the only person I need to be accommodating to is myself. I'm a firm believer in loving yourself before loving anyone else and although this has been one of the hardest struggles for me during the 19 years I've been alive, I've been able to regain some confidence in the natural person that I can one day be proud of.

I've realized that I need to calm down and be patient when it comes to finding "the one". As a romantic, it's hard for me to not want to be married right now or at least know who the lucky person will be. However, in my time alone, I've realized that one day there's going to be someone that likes and loves me on the worst days and I think that's worth waiting for. And if it turns out that I never find that person, I think I can be fine with only my own company, which is something I would have have never been able to say before.

Lastly, I've realized that being alone is great and I have way more time for activities.

If anyone reads this article and wants to get anything from it, I'll end by saying: take time out of your day to reflect, create your own happiness, NEVER settle, 'Thank U, Next' the awful people in your life, and go to therapy!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

41727
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

60802
The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

The Six Most Iconic Pitbull Lyrics Of All Time

Mr. Worldwide just wants to see you succeed.

79035
a photo of artist Pitbull

It is no secret that Pitbull is a gifted artist, but many fail to remember that he can be a source of great inspiration as well. The following is a list of iconic Pitbull lyrics that we know and love. Read on to feel empowered — if you think you can handle it.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

11 Essential Expectations for Becoming the Ultimate Cheermeister

Mastering Festive Expectations: Tips to Shine as Your Holiday Cheermeister

109110
Crazy for Christmas

So you’ve elected yourself as this year's Holiday Cheermeister, there’s no shame in that. The holidays are your pride and joy, and you've taken on the responsibility to get everyone in the spirit. With only one week until Christmas, here are some things we expect from you, Cheermeister.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments