Dating And Boys

Dating And Boys

Always trouble
Fish
Fish
21
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Sometimes gross and always weak.

To find, we sold. To ignore, we gave.

Messages took the moron about the cruel idiocy, stupidly but quickly.

Breakups -- stupid morons!

How does the freak not cheat?

God jerks...

As the boys are, the dates bought hardly.

Sometimes weak and always small.

Love, apathy, and ever hatred.

How does the freak not hide?

Secret and car, damn, sh*t! hos like the apathy.

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10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

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1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

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Poetry On Odyssey: Ego

Years later, we can still learn something about ourselves and our morality from Freud.

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I'm studying Freud now for maybe the 5th time

So I'm familiarized with his notorious line


It starts off as ID, ending at SuperEgo

Which helps you gauge if you're good, and hopefully not evil


It's the impossible goal to balance Ego in the middle

I think back on myself, trying so hard to fiddle


The morality dial to a place to that felt right

Where my mind was peace and my soul could feel light


I think now that I've made it, but I hadn't at first

So my earlier years were understandably the worst


My first day of grade school I was instantly smitten

Well aware that my guidelines had already been written


I was taught that fulfillment could be found in God's Word

His love the incentive with which I was lured


But she was just so damn sweet, with long hair and dark eyes

I hated myself for thinking same as the guys


Adam would never have lain down with a man

So to make it to Heaven, she was not in the plan


Later in life I was leaving high school

Taking dick, smoking pot and breaking rules to look cool


When on a contemplative car ride one night with my friend

My SuperEgo delusion came to a startling end


I asked, "Have you ever felt like you were missing a penis before?"

Her expression told me not to bring that up anymore


That night sent me deep into a pit of self loathing

I could pass as pure to my church, but felt absolutely nothing


I was shrink wrapped in guilt for the secrets I held

Taught that my kind were all children of the Angel that Fell


I felt I had failed, too wrapped up in desire

Postmarked now for down under as a fag, tranny and liar


Even though I would spend just two more years with God's son

I had denied who I was till the damage was done


All those times that I'd judged queer folks with disgust

Held me down like a freight train infested with rust


I internalized all the hatred I'd spread

Every comment placed pea-like in my soft Christian bed


That was the past, I breath easier now

But not without finding my "who" and my "how"


The person I'm now is so earthquakingly free

I mourn the years without girlfriends and the pronouns "him/he"


Pretty Boy is all honest, and that's pretty much "how"

I was able to end up at "who" I am now


It seems that its easy to find your Ego on the line

When your ID and your Super are authentically defined


But not by a god or a priest or a book

Right and wrong will come out if you're willing to look

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