"Serious relationships are meant for after college, the last thing you want is to be tied down too early", said almost everyone I know. Apparently, it has become a trend to avoid serious relationships in college because somehow they will prevent you from taking full advantage of the "best years of your life". If I'm being honest, I was most definitely believed this to be true when I began my college career, however, as you may assume by the title, my opinion has shifted since then.

For the most part, I still believe there is a certain amount of truth that is tied to this widespread belief. I believe, based off of my own personal experience, that it is during these years when we should be free to experiment, meet people, and most importantly, have the freedom to discover who we truly are and who we want to be. When in college you have the luxury of being able to live the way you want independently as an adult without the typical stresses an actual adult would have to deal with out of college. I like to think of it as adult-ing with a safety net. Your parents (for the most part,) are still willing to financially support you and bail you out of sticky situations, society doesn't really expect that much from you, and you have the option of deciding how much work you want to schedule for yourself. So in sum, yes, I do believe having that time to find yourself independently without the influence of someone as important as a partner is critical for ones mental health and independence.

Now, keeping all this in mind, is it really a surprise that most college relationships don't work out? Or are influenced or affected by petty problems? I don't want to come across like I've found the answer to dating in college nor that I've found the only person mature enough for a serious relationship in college, in all honesty, it's quite the opposite. Instead, I have come to the realization, that you can only expect so much from a college relationship. This doesn't mean that there isn't still the possibility of your college partner becoming your "forever" partner. What I mean is that I truly believe that the base of the relationship should rely on flexibility and openness for change as well as a possible acceptance that things might not work out simply because you might grow into people who aren't compatible. As you grow older and become more "responsible" and more sure of yourself you might find that qualities in a partner you previous didn't consider important now make all the difference and that's okay! Communication, flexibility, patience, and understanding.

In conclusion, you don't need to have a list a mile long of casual romances from your college years to make your time there worthwhile, sometimes it just takes one person. I have been in a relationship for two, going on three, of my four year college experience and although at times I reflect on being alone with no strings attached as I was my freshman year, I can't tell you how grateful I am to have found someone who is not only supportive of me presently but someone who also encourages me to seek my true authentic self; even if that means I must do so alone. So don't rush to find your person in college, he or she will come when the time is right, but don't turn down something possibly great just because you don't want to "sacrifice your freedom." There's no reason you can't have both!