Hello Dear Soul,
One part of life I can sure say is hard, is growing up, but I would have to see the hardest part of it all, is watching a parent be sick.
Growing up, there has always been someone sick, whether it be my aunt, my sister or my dad. All of these people are related to me, but to this day, the hardest one to watch is my dad. Growing up I can definitely say I was the ultimate Daddy's girl, I was joined to his hip at all times. I couldn't wait until he got home everyday after work, I gave him endless amounts of funny nicknames. I slept on his stomach countless times. Nothing could separate me from my dad. He took me everywhere he went, and he taught me how to do so much. Growing up my mom dressed me, but it was my dad who combed my hair. He would have me sit for so long, and I could only get up when I had the perfect hairdo. My dad taught me how to do so much, I don't think I could ever thank him for everything he has done.
In recent years, my dad's health has turned for the worse, and I think the worst part about it, is I can only sit there and watch. I guess that has been the worst part for me, seeing what my dad was like so long ago, to seeing a completely different person. I guess it's not a bad thing, but it isn't something that is easy to get used to. I've seen my dad very active, and to hardly see him as active as he used to be makes me sad. There isn't much I can do but only be there for emotional support. There are times when I wish that everything would turn back to normal, but the reality is that it can't. As a daughter, I have learned to be patient with emotional outbreaks, I have come to understand that my dad is on a lot of medication, and there will be days where he has good ones, but at the same time there will be days where he has bad ones. It's been quite the roller coaster ride.
Growing up I never thought my dad would ever get sick, I thought he was invincible to anything that came towards him, since he had always defeated what came.
I am here to say from my own experience, that it is going to be a hard road. Nothing about this is easy, and I am not going to sugar coat it and say everything will be fine. The reality is, sometimes it isn't fine, and that's okay. It's going to take time to heal, and as a daughter or son, the best thing to do is tell your parent how much you love them. Be there for them, even if it is the smallest thing, like watching a movie with them or taking them out to eat.The best thing to do is stay optimistic. Don't get annoyed when your parent calls you just to ask how you are doing, because in that moment of sickness your voice may be the only thing that can make them smile, even if it only means just for a few minutes. I've learned that there are times my dad only wants to talk to a certain person, sometimes it's me and other times it someone else. Many times we think our parents are going to be invincible forever, but the truth is is we are too busy ourselves trying to figure out what we want to do with our own lives, we forget to give our parents the attention they truly deserve. I understand the frustration, nothing is such a worse feeling, when you are just plain frustrated it's hard to have patience. Your surrounded by so many questions, and very little answers. Many times you feel like everything is going wrong, and not much is going right. Since my dad has been sick, my sisters and I are constantly giving my mom kind words, we let her know that even though none of us live at home, we are all still there to do what we can.
Take comfort in your family and close friends, because there isn't much you can do but wait, hope, and pray for the best outcome. It's a hard experience, emotionally, physically and spiritually. There should be no room for anger, nor playing the blame game once frustration strikes, its about remembering to love each other no matter what happens. It's a hard road, and I can never understand why we were chosen to go through it, but things happen for a reason, and we must take it and run.
