Overcoming A Bad Father Daughter Relationship
Start writing a post
Parents

To The Dad Who Can't Be Pleased

Knowing I have disappointed my dad is sad, but feeling like he is holding them over my head forever is so much worse.

184
To The Dad Who Can't Be Pleased

Fathers Day has gotten much harder to celebrate year after year. Between being told my dad wants nothing to feeling like even if he did want a gift there would be something wrong with it. There is always a catch. I guess you could say that's the ttheem of my relationship with my dad. Any positive comment is followed by an instant negative remark. Anytime I feel like I'm going in a good direction I question if it is enough.

It is hard to be a people pleaser and have a dad that simply will never be pleased. He has his proud moments but they are shadowed by doubt. I have made some terrible choices, choices that have crushed my dad. Seeing the pain I have put him through is anything but easy.

At one point I could do no wrong with him. I was his first born, his baby girl. I can't lie, it felt good to be put on a pedastil.But all good things come to ends. I started to want to be independent and see what this world was really all about. The more choices I made that were questionable, the deeper my relationship with my dad sunk. To be fair, I sabotaged our relationship at times with the poor decisions I made. To know he could not control my every move felt freeing in a sense. That feeling though comes with distrust, anger, and disappointments.

I harshly realized that I was not being truly independent, I was isolating myself from someone whose heart was breaking watching his little girl make questionable choices. My dad does not do sadness very well. Anger is more of his strong suit. When he is angry the whole neighborhood knows it. His voice echos and his tone when it raises is crushing to hear. This anger has brought me to tears for many reasons, mainly because it builds a bigger distance between the two of us.

I have reached a point now where all my past choices are stacked against me and his anger and distrust have built a forcefield around him. Try as I might though to show him how I am changing, the past stays in his head. The lies I have told him and choices like drinking excessively have put it in his head that I will be a selfish low-life.

This is when my anger sets in. Support for any progress, whether big or small, is not given to me. I feel trapped in a cycle. I question how you can care for someone so much yet have a pre determined idea of who they are. I have not given my da the best behavior and I do not expect things to change over night. I do however become overwhelmingly angry with the fact that I am disregarded and diminished.

If I know I am taking the right steps to not be the same person I was before, that is all that matters. At the end of the day I can only want to be a better person for myself. I repeat these things over and over in my head everyday and I try to live by these words. It takes every ounce in me to not fall victim to the thought that my dads opinion on me makes me who I am.

This Fathers Day my dad has asked for no gift, seeing as he is going on vacation with my mom. I would like to think though that I could hopefully give him the gift of perspective. If he could see the struggles and confliction I have, just as I see his disappointment and anger, maybe one day we can work to be maybe not on the same page but in a similar book. A book based on understanding and the love that has never wavered.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58274
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37538
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959160
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

193184
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments