Last spring, I had to drop two friends I felt were no longer a good influence on me. It was difficult to make this decision, but I did take a while to think about it. I still feel to this day that I made the right decision.
They talked badly about people, and they talked badly about their own "best friends" behind their backs. They DID things behind their friends' backs, that they knew they would get mad at.
I felt I couldn't trust them because of this. I also felt that they were very narcissistic, and only cared about what people looked like. They began to appear to be shallow to me. At one point, I really had no desire to be their friends anymore.
I didn't do this aggressively. I did this silently. I unfollowed them on Instagram, unfriended them on Snapchat and Facebook, and unfollowed them on Twitter.
I just wanted their toxicity out of my life. It wasn't good for my mental health.
Well, soon they realized that I did this and they lashed out. I wasn't mean to them until they were mean to me. I tried to talk to them calmly and civilly, but they did not reciprocate. I stood up for myself and was done.
It was liberating.
Now, to go on to the second part of my article.
I really am one of the least judgmental people but this situation amazed me.
About three years ago, (and I can't remember how), I became friends on Facebook with a girl who had very recently become unexpectedly pregnant at 16. (Legally a child). She just turned 17.
She got married to her boyfriend of two years (the father of the baby) only two months after finding out she was pregnant.
They moved to Washington state for the husband's military station.
Even though they were SUPER young, I thought they were really cute and I admired and respected her for her maturity in raising her child.
But then, she got pregnant again. At 18. She was going to be a mother of two at 18.
I don't know if it was on purpose or not, but I still was shocked nonetheless.
I didn't really like her husband that much. He posted multiple pictures of his truck every day on Facebook, but barely any of his kids.
He was in the military fighting for our country yet his Facebook statuses were racist, sexist, and just mean and OFFENSIVE.
Plus, his posts were hard to read too sometimes because his grammar was AWFUL. Some of the words he used weren't even real words. He sounded very uneducated.
Then, about a month ago, the wife posts a status on Facebook saying that she and her husband were separated and were getting a divorce because the husband couldn't stop commenting on other girls' pictures and wanting to know who other girls were. She posts this for all the world to see; changes her married name on social media to her maiden name. Then like a week or so ago, she's all of a sudden posting pics of her husband, acting all lovey-dovey with him.
So are you getting divorced or what?
I just realized that I was done. I had been following a random ass couple on Facebook for three years now, whose drama I could no longer handle or comprehend.
I lost all respect for the wife. She said herself her husband was disloyal, then a month later, turns around and forgets like it never happened.
To me, their marriage is a complete joke. How can she ever trust him? How can we see him as a decent military man if he cheats on his wife? They're going to be so unhappy. And their children are going to be affected by it.
And the very last thing that bothered me after that was seeing her change her profile picture on Facebook to her and her husband, with herself holding a REDD's Hard Cider. She's 20. This profile picture is public. For all the world to see.
She's a mom and a military wife posting pictures of herself illegally drinking.
I have no words other than I have no respect.
I had to delete her and her husband, and honestly, I feel so much better.
Life is better simple and peaceful.
I realized that in the end, all I needed was me. Worrying about other peoples' unsolvable problems was getting me nowhere. I'm exactly where I need to be.