Being the “cool girl” has vastly changed over time. I don’t mean “cool” like the mean popular girl you saw your whole life on Disney Channel. This is a different kind of cool but it’s still plastered all over TV and movies. So much so that girls find themselves fitting into the bracket of a “cool girl.” Urban Dictionary defines a cool girl as “A girl who is not a girlfriend. Shares interests with, hangs with, and (optionally) sleeps with a man she is interested in. Inevitably, she becomes a 'cool girl' and becomes ineligible for girlfriend status.” Being a “cool girl” is that and so much more.
The cool girl has loads of guy friends and they view her as one of the boys. She loves sex and isn’t afraid to talk about it all the time. She will spill all the dirty details and secrets with them. Her sense of humor is just as raunchy as the worst frat boys America inhabits – sometimes it’s even worse. She’s the first to make a sexual jokes and she’s the first to laugh at one. She can outdrink out and make it look live you've never played beer pong in your life. She's like that pretty cousin that was always better then you but you still liked.
She is seen as confident. She’s aware of her flaws but doesn’t let the world know that they bother her. She fearlessly pursues the men she’s interested in and is a big fan of casual sex. She doesn’t care when people shame her for “sleeping around,” to her she is simply going after what she wants. She shakes off rejection like no big deal, it just simply doesn’t bother her that one of the many men of the world wasn’t interested. She is simply off limits for girlfriend material, because she’s the cool girl. The guy that she’s been hooking up with will never consider her to potentially be his girlfriend even though she’s started to catch feelings for him. I mean, who would want a girl that drinks beer and talks guy talk with the boys?
No one knows that the cool girl fights to make sure her guard isn’t down in front of someone. The second it comes down slightly she pulls it right back up. No one knows that the cool girl possesses real feelings and they get hurt – no matter how hard she tries to hide it. No one knows that she’s exhausted trying to pretend she doesn’t want some guy to sweep her off her feet despite her flaws and what people say about her. No one knows she sometime has no interest in talking about sports or girl’s; she sometime wants to watch The Notebook and not feel guilty for crying. No one knows how much she bottles up her emotions, only coming out in tears when she’s had one too many glasses of wine. No one knows that she’s this way because someone broke her heart and she swore to herself she would never be that sad broken girl. She swore she would never be the girl who made someone else her world ever again. No one knows deep inside she’s aching. No one knows that she so desperately wishes she wasn’t labeled as the cool girl.
There is nothing wrong with being the "cool girl" or any version of her. She's beautiful, full of life, and her confidence looks effortless. She is just as flawed as every person out there. She is truly just like every twenty-something trying to navigate through life. There is nothing wrong with being one of the boys and there is nothing wrong with chugging beers with them. There is nothing wrong with doing what you want, but there is something wrong with thinking you have to be someone else while you do it. Go after what you want. Be in touch with your emotions. Be the “cool girl” or don’t be. Just be happy with you are and who you become.
