My mother is German (white) and my father is bald. As a biracial child with curls and being raised by those two, my hair had its highs and lows. The first few years were pretty mellow seeing that my hair had just started growing into its fro-form. Elementary school was a series of hits and misses based on whether or not my mother had my hair braided. Middle school was a joke. They let me do my own hair and I owned a straightener; enough said.

High school, however, was a turn around point. The day before freshman year was when my true natural hair journey commenced with a huge chop. From reaching the middle of my back, my hair could barely touch my shoulders after that. But the steps I took during the years following is what’s lead to lucrative gains in regards to both my hair and confidence.

1.Rebuked the usage of heat.

All throughout high school, I was determined to get my hair as pin straight as all the other girls’. I’d catch myself sitting in front of my mirror for hours as the slight hints of smoke rose above my head. Research wasn’t necessary to figure out I was burning the life out of my hair. This was and still is the best and biggest step I took.

2.Committed to coconut oil (and friends).

The discovery of coconut oil was a huge turning point in my life. Instantly, stress faded from my life and happiness filled its place. What made it even better was my later findings on other oils. Oils such as olive oil, tea tree oil, and the major key, Jamaican black castor oil, enhanced my life on a regular basis. And continue to do so. I highly doubt I’ll stray from my hot oil treatments and soaks.

3.T Shirts.

If you’re at least semi-devoted to your natural hair, odds are you’ve heard of this little hack. Instead of the harsh touch of towels, use old cotton t shirts! It blew my mind how much the frizziness went down when I did this. I’m at the point in my life where I have shirts reserved for this very occasion.

4. Detangle and do not touch.

I’m not sure why, but it took me quite some time to grasp this concept and break the habit. Once I finally listened to all of the YouTube curly hair tutorials, I definitely noticed my hair calmed down. If the curls were disturbed too often then they’d lash out. Hence, the frizziness.

These are just the summation of years of trials and errors. These four rules have simply proven to only benefit me and my budget as well. I’m not sure if it was noticed, but these aren’t linked with any outrageous price tags.

While it was difficult trying to figure all of this out on my own, I can honestly say it helped me develop the deep appreciation I have for my hair. My hair is so sensitive because it has character. It doesn’t like to be touched, just like me. It doesn’t like anything too crazy being around it, just like me.

My hair as unique as I am so I have to treat it the way I’d want to be treated.