“Oh my God, I got cunnilingued last night and it was like Christmas.”
Although technically correct, the above sentence is not something you’d expect to hear. The word cunnilingue was on the Oxford Dictionary New Words List for March 2014 and is the verb counterpart of the word cunnilingus, which refers to the “stimulation of the female genitals using the tongue or lips” (“cunnilingus”). Previously, the only way to describe the act of cunnilingus was to use crude slang phrases such as “eating her out” or “going down on her”; only with the introduction of the word cunnilingue was there finally an officially recognized word for it. In contrast, however, oral stimulation on male genitalia, originally known as fellatio during the late 19th century, has long been coined as “giving blowjobs” or “blowing” in the modern era. There is an obvious discrepancy between the officially recognized vocabularies used to describe oral sex on women and on men, respectively. The addition of cunnilingue to the Oxford Dictionary represents not only the narrowing of this gap, but also the evolution of sex from being an avoided taboo to being a part of daily life that is accepted as a topic, subject or theme.
Modern day feminists who have long been indignant at how women are less able than men to confidently and comfortably express their sexual desires and preferences can now celebrate the small victory in the field of language within sex. The arrival of cunnilingue has come as the result of a sudden burst of openness regarding female sexual pleasure. By simply scrolling through websites such as BuzzFeed, Huffington Post, and Thought Catalog, one would easily be able to find articles giving men tips on how to pleasure women using their lips and tongues – articles titled “12 Things Your Tongue Can Do to Make Her Moan” and “10 Tips on How to Lick a Girl,” etc. There are also videos on the same topic; a personal favorite of mine is one titled “Cunnilingus Class” by a pair of comedians who go by the name Key & Peele (Key and Peele) – a must-watch for any sexually active woman. All this media has been published in latter part of the last decade, and is strong evidence for the increase in the freedom that we women now have to voice our opinions regarding how we want our lady parts treated. This is not an isolated shift in itself, but a breakthrough in a gradual shift in culture that started a century ago and can be viewed as the rise of feminism.
Aside from the shrinking of the disparity of male and female sexual freedom, cunnilingue is also representative of the lessening taboo surrounding sex and its increasing prominence as a topic in culture and a theme in media. As someone who spent the first 17 years of her life in Indonesia - the country with the largest Muslim population in the world - and who has very traditionally conservative Chinese grandparents, I can attest to the fact that sex has been and in some cases still very frowned upon for societal and religious reasons. With the exception of the societies within religious or traditional communities, the rest of the world has become more and more liberal with its use of the S-word. Before I left for college, I only had one person that I could talk to about sex – my best friend. To talk about it with anyone else would elicit immediate judgment and rumors, and henceforth the deterioration of my reputation. Upon my arrival to Tufts, I realized that not only would I not be judged for it, but that I could openly ask my new girlfriends what anal sex is like or whether or not the “g-spot orgasm” exists, and they would eagerly offer support, advice and endless giggles. Some might argue that this difference lies between Indonesia and America as countries and does not provide any evidence supporting my argument. I concede that that might be the case. However, my point is that the discussion of sex has become more and more widespread over time. Whether that is due to the increasing influence of American culture on the rest of the world or due to the rest of the world developing on its own is irrelevant; everyone is now talking about sex.
Another argument could be that there is evidence that contradicts this supposed “de-tabooifying” of sex; for example, the rise of slut-shaming. The progression of sex from being a taboo to being just another topic to talk about has been constant in neither speed nor direction. Different attitudes regarding sex have come one after the other. First came the era of glorifying sex and overt sex appeal – think flappers, Marilyn Monroe and the Burlesque era; then came increased attention on rapes and slut-shaming; then finally came the time of feminism – feminists fought back against slut-shaming and fought to #freethenipple. They seem to have succeeded because nowadays a woman’s body parts can both be the center of attention and be treated with absolute indifference; we see nipples and buttocks here and there that were left revealed both for sex appeal and for other reasons that have nothing to with sex at all.
To illustrate the modern woman’s freedom to be as sexual as she desires, we can take a look at the width of the spectrum as evident in current music, film and fashion. From Nicki Minaj who represents all things sex, to models such as Andrej Pejic and Willy Cartier who represent the rise of androgyny; from Tom Ford’s Gucci advertisements, one of which shows the Gucci logo shaved into a model’s pubic hair, to Hedi Slimane’s fashion photography in which models are often bare breasted in order to complement the clothing and composition; it’s apparent that both the highly sexed up and the not sexed up at all can command attention and be at the forefront of art. In terms of sexuality, although women do not yet have carte blanche, we definitely have more leeway when it comes to how sexual or not sexual we want to be.
When something is given a name, it gains validity – it becomes more real. In the "Harry Potter" series, Albus Dumbledore said, “fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself.” The opposite is also true; acceptance of a name increases acceptance of the thing itself. Before, everyone said, “He Who Must Not Be Named,” “You Know Who,” “eating her out,” and “going down on her.” In the last two "Harry Potter" books, those who opposed Voldemort started to gain courage and as a result became bold enough to use his name. In today’s world, more people are starting to realize that to cunnilingue a woman isn’t anything scary and that to talk about it is completely normal – and thanks to the people over there at Oxford we now have a word for it.
Oh, to be cunnilingued - it really is like Christmas.
