We are expected to be weak in this world. How many times have you held back tears because you "didn't want to seem dramatic" or because "crying is a sign of weakness"? Unfortunately, most people in the world are taught that crying and showing sadness is a weakness, but it is nothing close to that at all. Holding in your sadness when you need to cry is only going to make you feel worse, because one day you'll just explode into a ball of tears and maybe forget why you even felt like you had to cry in the first place. But then you'll remember. You'll remember what broke your heart all over again and you will feel the same pain you did when it first happened. Its like going through it all over again.
This happened to me when I went through a very tough break up at the beginning of this year. I held back my sadness. I didn't want people to think I was upset because I wanted to put on a brave face for my friends. I didn't want my circumstance to be a burden on them, so I just held it back and did my own thing. I felt like if I talked to them about it, it would just seem like I'm being negative or complaining in some way. I don't know why I felt this way, because if any of my friends went through something like that I would drop everything and want to listen to what they have to say and be there for them when they wanted me to. Anyways, I didn't allow myself to feel the pain and sadness that heartbreak caused me. Over a few weeks I tried to distract myself with working just to try and not think so much, but there are only so many distractions until your feelings catch up with you. You cannot run from what you feel. You can't just escape your body and run away from it. So, one day I just couldn't stop crying. It felt like I was letting out all of the tears that had been held back for months.I didn't allow myself to accept the situation when it first happened, so it felt even worse than it did the first time.
After what seemed like I cried so much that it felt like there were no tears left to cry (hi Ariana Grande song reference), I felt a little lighter. The pain still weighed heavy on my heart but crying really does feel liberating. Cry when your body tells you to. Sometimes, for no reason at all, you just need a good cry. If we weren't meant to feel it, then it wouldn't exist. Allow yourself to feel the pain in the moment that it happens, don't avoid it, don't try to cover it up with a smile because it is NORMAL to feel sad, and it is crucial for you to accept and acknowledge that your feelings are valid no matter if you are happy or sad. Feelings are not temporary. Think of it like the weather, rain comes and then it goes. Sometimes it stays for a few days, but eventually the sun comes out.
So, remember, sadness is not a weakness. Pain is not a weakness. Crying is not a weakness. You can feel upset and feel it all in that moment, but don't let it ruin all of your days because you are the one who rules your mind and heart.